I love Grandma Gin. You all know this. But here's what I noticed while attending the monthly Lunch with the Girls from the Retirement Home..at a really lovely Northern Italian restaurant that's been around for decades and serves us deliciousness on a plate. But I digress. I got excited about the food again and forgot my own point.
Sigh.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the one to get loopy first in my old age, but Hubby announced the other day that wouldn't be fair because I'm a handful with some lucidity and if I go loopy..he might just be in over his head.
Whatever.
Anyway, so at lunch today with the girls....(and their 'Lifestyles Director', a very tiny, middle aged, mild mannered man who used to be a teacher but now prefers to direct the lifestyles of the retired, it seems)...I noticed my Gran, who generally delivers her opinion under her breath, which means most of her friends don't hear what she says but I have perfectly good hearing and I heard every word...
When I got to the table, a little out of breath and feeling bad about being five minutes late due to impossible parking up the hill and around the corner from the restaurant..she said, 'It's ok honey. We're ready to order, so just grab a menu and choose whatever you want. It's my turn to pay, so don't worry.'
Ok, Gran.
When the waitress came up to the table to ask me if I'd like something to drink...Gran said, 'Oh for heaven's sake, she likes wine but not at lunch...usually.' This delivered with a raised eyebrow. Ok, Gran.
When the waitress walked away for a moment, Gran said, 'I'd love to order that pizza with the sausage and pepperoni and mushrooms, but I don't want the pepperoni. Ok, maybe I'll just pick off the pepperoni, I'm sure they don't give you very many. ' At which point I suggested she order it without the pepperoni. And Gran said, 'They'll still charge me for it. I'll bet they won't adjust the price if I ask them to not put pepperoni on it.' Probably true, Gran.
When the waitress had taken our orders and everyone was noshing away on the lovely homebaked bread, dipping it in olive oil and making happy sounds, Gran said, 'This bread has more holes than bread in it. Their yeast must be too active. They need to cool down that kitchen or the bread will just disappear altogether.' This didn't stop her, however, from snarfing down a hefty size piece, albeit one with more holes that bread so that probably doesn't count, right?
When there was a brief lull in the approving 'this is good bread' sounds, she said, 'So, we were going to get seated in the bar, but it's too dark back there. So they seated us out here by this pretty window, which is nice since I get to see the mountains, but it's very bright right here. I should have brought my sunglasses, although mine aren't as cute as yours are, honey. Mine clip on over my glasses.' The rest of the table muttered in reply, and the sweet lady across from me (Maggie) said she really likes how you can make any outfit sassier with the right pair of sunglasses. 'Just look at Audrey Hepburn, for goodness sake! Same idea.'
When the food arrived. Generous portions all around..and Gran said, 'Who do they think is going to eat all this food, anyway? We're old, and we have small appetites. Gee whiz.' Then a few moments later, 'I'll just have to get a box. Let me ask the waitress for a box. There is no way I'm going to be able to get through this whole pizza. Boy, they didn't put very much sausage on it, did they? Maybe I should have had them leave on the pepperoni. How's yours, honey? My goodness, that is a cute little filet. Do you want some pizza to help push down that hunk of protein?' After I gave her a taste of the excellent petite filet that was served with grilled new potatoes and asparagus..yum...Gran said, 'That's delicious. Why didn't I see that on the menu? (She was absolutely positively craving pizza no matter what when I sat down, and couldn't imagine eating a little filet for lunch, though she knows that I'm a big protein girl and she approved of my order...)
As we were leaving the restaurant, after an admittedly fabulous overall experience, Gran says, 'I wish they served food that tasted this good at the home. They should be thrown in chef jail for what they do to perfectly good food at that place. But then they'd probably charge us more, that's how they do things around there.'
Yes, Grandma, that's how they do things. It might, just might, cost a littttle bit more to serve 150 elderly folks fresh, locally grown, organic, grass fed filets and pizza with sausage and pepperoni and fresh mushrooms and mozzarella, and fresh pastas with fresh sauces alfredo, marinara and bolognese..than it does to serve them prefab frozen stuff that loses its flavor when overcooked then placed in warming trays for two hours.
Cuz that's how they roll.
Sigh.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the one to get loopy first in my old age, but Hubby announced the other day that wouldn't be fair because I'm a handful with some lucidity and if I go loopy..he might just be in over his head.
Whatever.
Anyway, so at lunch today with the girls....(and their 'Lifestyles Director', a very tiny, middle aged, mild mannered man who used to be a teacher but now prefers to direct the lifestyles of the retired, it seems)...I noticed my Gran, who generally delivers her opinion under her breath, which means most of her friends don't hear what she says but I have perfectly good hearing and I heard every word...
When I got to the table, a little out of breath and feeling bad about being five minutes late due to impossible parking up the hill and around the corner from the restaurant..she said, 'It's ok honey. We're ready to order, so just grab a menu and choose whatever you want. It's my turn to pay, so don't worry.'
Ok, Gran.
When the waitress came up to the table to ask me if I'd like something to drink...Gran said, 'Oh for heaven's sake, she likes wine but not at lunch...usually.' This delivered with a raised eyebrow. Ok, Gran.
When the waitress walked away for a moment, Gran said, 'I'd love to order that pizza with the sausage and pepperoni and mushrooms, but I don't want the pepperoni. Ok, maybe I'll just pick off the pepperoni, I'm sure they don't give you very many. ' At which point I suggested she order it without the pepperoni. And Gran said, 'They'll still charge me for it. I'll bet they won't adjust the price if I ask them to not put pepperoni on it.' Probably true, Gran.
When the waitress had taken our orders and everyone was noshing away on the lovely homebaked bread, dipping it in olive oil and making happy sounds, Gran said, 'This bread has more holes than bread in it. Their yeast must be too active. They need to cool down that kitchen or the bread will just disappear altogether.' This didn't stop her, however, from snarfing down a hefty size piece, albeit one with more holes that bread so that probably doesn't count, right?
When there was a brief lull in the approving 'this is good bread' sounds, she said, 'So, we were going to get seated in the bar, but it's too dark back there. So they seated us out here by this pretty window, which is nice since I get to see the mountains, but it's very bright right here. I should have brought my sunglasses, although mine aren't as cute as yours are, honey. Mine clip on over my glasses.' The rest of the table muttered in reply, and the sweet lady across from me (Maggie) said she really likes how you can make any outfit sassier with the right pair of sunglasses. 'Just look at Audrey Hepburn, for goodness sake! Same idea.'
When the food arrived. Generous portions all around..and Gran said, 'Who do they think is going to eat all this food, anyway? We're old, and we have small appetites. Gee whiz.' Then a few moments later, 'I'll just have to get a box. Let me ask the waitress for a box. There is no way I'm going to be able to get through this whole pizza. Boy, they didn't put very much sausage on it, did they? Maybe I should have had them leave on the pepperoni. How's yours, honey? My goodness, that is a cute little filet. Do you want some pizza to help push down that hunk of protein?' After I gave her a taste of the excellent petite filet that was served with grilled new potatoes and asparagus..yum...Gran said, 'That's delicious. Why didn't I see that on the menu? (She was absolutely positively craving pizza no matter what when I sat down, and couldn't imagine eating a little filet for lunch, though she knows that I'm a big protein girl and she approved of my order...)
As we were leaving the restaurant, after an admittedly fabulous overall experience, Gran says, 'I wish they served food that tasted this good at the home. They should be thrown in chef jail for what they do to perfectly good food at that place. But then they'd probably charge us more, that's how they do things around there.'
Yes, Grandma, that's how they do things. It might, just might, cost a littttle bit more to serve 150 elderly folks fresh, locally grown, organic, grass fed filets and pizza with sausage and pepperoni and fresh mushrooms and mozzarella, and fresh pastas with fresh sauces alfredo, marinara and bolognese..than it does to serve them prefab frozen stuff that loses its flavor when overcooked then placed in warming trays for two hours.
Cuz that's how they roll.
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