Desert Magnolia

Saturday morning, around 5:30 a.m., my daughter, my husband, my car, two suitcases full of 'have to' clothes, and sundry appliances that our college Senior wanted/needed for her apartment drove off into the sunrise. As the taillights winked out in the distance, I felt that tightness in my chest, the oh so familiar searing pain caused by the departure of one of my offspring, and a heaviness that persisted in spite of multiple yoga sessions, miles on the trail, and meditation by the fountain out back over the course of the weekend. But this time the searing pain didn't turn into the fetal position crying jag that it has in the past, a jag that paralyzes me for an hour or so, then subdues me for the remainder of the day,  and reminds me of how absolutely powerful the bonds of motherhood are, and how blessed I am to feel these ties with my progeny. Either I am growing used to these separations, or the other shoe hasn't dropped yet due to the noise of studying for midte...

So the whole car thing? Where Daughter is taking the olive green car that we got tuned up and ready for the trip? Has changed a little. New scenario involves the olive green car staying here. And my car going to Providence. And me driving the cranberry red pickup. And hubby driving the olive green car which works fine around town, but isn't the greatest choice for a cross country jaunt followed by a winter in New England followed by another cross country jaunt. I knew this. Hubby just took longer to accept it. So there you have it. The really funny part? Is hubby thinks we can loan the girl my car for a year and expect her to actually return it after she graduates from college. He actually made a point of letting our girl know that we'll need it back when she's done with school. Really?

My oh my what a week it's turned out to be! First there was the not holiday, Memorial Day, which felt more like a prelude to a complicated dance. Then there was Daughter's wisdom teeth. Then there was the negative reaction to Vicodin, which involved a blackout in the kitchen. Then there was the new pain med prescription that we decided would be good to have on hand but not use as long as the ibuprofen was doing enough..which, so far, it has. Then there was a quiz today, which, thankfully, I managed to do fine on. Go figure. (Ok, three serious hours of focused study last night while my girl was snoozing in the recliner might have helped.) Then there was work, or IS work, since I'm still here but actually contemplating heading out before clinic to check on the girl one more time, though the last time I checked on her she was having a very nice time being entertained by her cousins and my motherinlaw..... I tweaked out yesterday. Fortunately the loving kindness ...

The good news? Attitudes change with the sweep of the hour hand on the clock, most days. Which is a blessing since the one I managed to get into yesterday was intense and I don't care to repeat that on a regular basis if I can help it. Anyway, here we are, and thanks to a combination of things, I'm in a much less dark place today and am told I look 'happy and fresh'...The funny thing is I have no idea how I looked yesterday, probably because most people instinctively avoided me...ahem. Reasons I think I'm in a better place today: 1. Daughter is home, and we had a lovely evening. We sat out in our backyard and enjoyed a lovely early evening and chatted about what had happened since we last relaxed together. Then we made a delicious dinner of grilled shrimp, wild rice, kale salad (fresh kale from the garden), and a chilly chardonnay. Mmmm. And then we watched Promised Land, which was good. I told JL earlier I'd give it a 6..for overall story/acting/chemistr...

Daughter has decided she really really needs/wants a car to drive her Senior year of college. Our first response to that was to ask around and see if anyone there might be selling a used car that she could pick up for a reasonable amount that would do the trick. She did, and nobody is. Well, one person was, but it's a long story involving a car belonging to a friend that used to belong to that friend's Mom, now deceased (the Mom, not the friend), and them asking way too much for it. So it really doesn't count anyway. And also, there were were vibes around that car that I think are best to avoid entirely. Trust me on this. Weeks pass, and the car thing keeps coming up in conversations, so we go to the next place, which is should WE buy a new car (that we can't afford right now and with my going to school more and working less certainly won't be any better positioned to afford a year from now) and give her mine? Then we dismiss that because it's just a bad id...

Simple things are truly what make life rich and wonderful. In fact, some days, the simple stuff is all that keeps me from running screaming from the room. Seriously. Like, when my friend JL would do her silly happy dance as she walked by my office door. That would jolly me out of any stress out I could conjure. Every single time. Like when Son called yesterday and announced he'd be joining us in Mexico for the holidays. Woot! So now our fam will be complete plus 1 sweet friend of Daughter's...laying on the beach, contemplating whether it's time to apply more sunscreen. Or or to reach for a cold beer or order a chilly marg. You know, that kind of stuff. Easy. Like Daughter and I spending time at our hair stylist's yesterday afternoon. Sipping a glass of wine, getting our 'dos done. Then shopping, and actually finding a cute pair of boots and some darling jeans for the girl. Like dancing in the kitchen..while listening to Tom Petty, laughing with my girl, p...

This bitch is on her way to my girl Since Daughter moved to the East coast for college, she's been in the path of two hurricanes. Irene was the first, and she and her team were held over two days in North Carolina  as that storm blew itself out over the Northeast. This time, this time she's in RI, and Sandy is headed directly for them. They're not allowed to leave their dorm rooms after 1 p.m. Eastern, today, due to high winds. They've stocked up on non-perishables and water, and are expecting widespread power outages. The first of the worst is supposed to hit later this evening and continue into tomorrow. Duration is hard to predict given the Canadian cold front that is joining up with this tropical beast and feeding the frenzy. It's a hybrid storm, kind of a hurricane weds a n'oreaster. Nobody knows for sure just how bad it's going to be, but everyone is sure it's a doozie. I can certainly attest to that. Being here, so far away, an...

Have you ever yearned to have a simple saga to share? A straightforward story? A black and white blurt out? Me too, but it seldom happens. Why? I don't know. Maybe because as we get older there is less black and white and much more gray. Or because sometimes life throws ridiculously complex scenarios at us and expects us to figure them the hell out. Take, for example, my daughter's knee. If you've been reading this blog for very long you're fully aware of how that whole thing went down. And the emotions, physical effort, pain, love, dedication and genuine human fortitude that went into bringing that girl back. And I'm not even talking about what SHE had to do! That was just her support group. Anyway, it's always been difficult. The whole blown then replaced ACL thing can be tricky, particularly when you're a college athlete and place unbelievable amounts of stress on that joint on a daily basis as part of your sport. And when your body builds scar...

Bear with me here, as I'm nearly at a decision point with this project. Really, I am. As I've reread and contemplated writing the finish, then going back and scrubbing and editing like crazy and generally attempting to update a piece I began so long ago, I've become exhausted. Repeatedly. Last night, in a text exchange with Daughter, I explained I'd picked up the manuscript again and was seriously thinking of finishing it. And she replied, 'Mom, you should just start something new. That thing is almost 20 years old now, and you're a completely different person than you were when you started it. Just know that I look forward to a finished project out of you one day, and really, why not go for something more current and stop wasting time on the old stuff you'll practically have to rewrite anyway? ' Out of the mouths of babes, right?

As part of the Great Home Improvement Project of 2011, as I've mentioned, we decided to move our bed into Son's room and buy a new one. Have you ever bought a new bed? If so, you realize that the decision..is one which must fit for a long long time. Our first bed we inherited from my Mom, over 23 years ago,  and it was kind of a special platform bed made from beautiful cherry wood but which sat on a makeshift platform. So part of it was gorgeous and the rest was kinda not so gorgeous, really. But we had other concerns as we were raising our family, and certainly other outlets for money, so we kept it. A long time. But then Son grew and grew and grew and really needed a bigger than a twin bed, so we gave it to him. And he had tons of room to stretch out, at last, and all was well. The bed we bought then was from Tema, was a modern metal platform thing in a cool anodized graphite color, and it lasted us for a long time, too. For some reason, shopping for a bed this time...

So on Friday as we're hustling around getting ready for the follow up with the surgeon, Daughter gets a funny look on her face as she looks at her phone and curses. "Mom, can you believe this? I'm here in the 60 degree desert and it snowed last night in Providence. It's a snow day at school! I could be having a snowball fight with my friends right now but nooooooooooo I'm headed for another f'in doctor's appointment for my damned knee. How do these things happen???" Um, gee, maybe the universe made a decision and you weren't consulted? I don't know. Sheesh.

Tuesday was a blur, one that began at 0430. Fast shower, grabbing coffee and a muffin, then rousing Daughter so she could wash her face and brush her teeth prior to procedure. Fast forward to 1100 a.m. We pull into the driveway, Daughter crutches her way into the house, and proclaims it a day to sleep. Really sleep. Surgeon did some work in that knee of hers. Cleaned out a ton of scar tissue (apparently she has a body that really likes to make it...), trimmed her meniscus, and shaved away some bone that had grown a little more aggressively than anticipated. This equates to taking a roto rooter to the interior of the knee and letting it run amok for about a half hour. She's bruised, sore (understatement), but relieved relieved that she wasn't imagining what she felt going on in there. She knew something was amiss, and this proved it. So now she heals, then slowly begins to resume her soccer training. Tomorrow we visit the surgeon for a post op, and for specific instr...

As part of her holiday To Do list, Daughter had an appointment with her knee surgeon for her one year post op assessment. Assessment revealed a strange clicking sound and minor discomfort that had begun about Thanksgiving. Which then necessitated an MRI. Which then resulted in surgeon thinking it best to 'go in with a scope, clean things up, take a look around and deal with a pesky meniscus while we're at it.' Said cleanup occurs very early tomorrow morning. Daughter is in good spirits and in fact has professed relief at her surgeon agreeing that something was a little wonky in that ol knee. So, today I'm at the office until I can no longer focus (which I predict will be somewhere around lunch), and then I'll head out, stop for a grocery/percocet comfort supply loadup, then head home. Tuneups can be wonderful, and in this case it is clearly the best thing to do. She's missing a week of school, but has emailed her profs who will certainly understand that ...