Desert Magnolia

My fatherinlaw recently passed away after a long battle with COPD.  He leaves behind three children, only one of whom spoke with him at the time of his death. That child, as it turns out, is my husband. My husband is a middle child - literally and in every possible figurative sense of the word. He has spent his entire life making peace (or attempting to craft lasting detante's in a family full of angst, stubbornness and general dysfunction, like most).  Upon his father's passing he was once again placed in this most tenuous of positions - that between forces, this time forces fueled by grief. These forces were comprised of his mother, the ex wife, and the widow, aka the Step Mom. Grief, as it turns out, brings out the very worst, the very best, and the absolutely weirdest shit imaginable in people. In the last month, memories long buried have percolated from the dark depths into the light of day. The hurts, the petty jealousies, the passions, the memories of disappointm...

Getting older has its perks. I am now comfortable enough in my skin to answer questions I used to find incredibly invasive, though I am mature enough to know when NOT to answer them, as well. I no longer feel the need to justify or explain away aspects of myself in mixed company. I am not an  unkind, nasty or evil person, so I know that facets of me that seem quirky or odd are fairly easily explained away by unresolved childhood trauma. I'm still working on stupid stuff/reactions that characterized my life before 30, really, and know that this life is about evolution, not perfection, so whew! There are occasions, though, when maybe I'm a little too comfortable, that maybe I just feel that sharing something under cross examination is for the best. Or maybe I just don't hyper examine every single thought that escapes my face via my lips.... Case in point? Recently a fellow student, someone with whom I have been equally distant (by instinct - there is just something abo...

Wormholes, sure. But time, time is a uniquely human construct designed to pacify humans and give us a concrete concept to hold onto in this sea of continuity that is the universe. This, among other declarations, was made during a rare and welcome conversation with an old, dear friend of mine who has, unexpectedly and repeatedly during our friendship, stepped up and simply listened when I had something to share. Sometimes these sharings have been serious, sometimes dire, sometimes silly, sometimes they've been about simply having lunch OUT. But this time, this was a doozie. The last fortnight has revealed some most unpleasant realities, including but certainly not limited to my learning that our dear family dentist of 30+ years has progressive lung disease and must retire to better care for himself and be on oxygen more of the time. I've also learned that my ex is suffering from the same condition-COPD. Yes, they both smoked for many years in spite of being intelligent...