Desert Magnolia

 The second Super Moon, also a Harvest Moon, just happened. On the same night I had my mini-meltdown. (see prior post). I've talked with several friends who reported intense emotions, mostly around stuff that needs to be released, resolved. When I think about my angst, and how intense it felt, I realize it was all about that kind of stuff. Old stuff, patterns, thinking, habits. So maybe the moon precipitated things. The bubbling up of angst and anger and icky stuff lasted all that night, but had calmed by yesterday morning. Thank gawd, because that was a morass of darkness, the likes of which I haven't experienced in at least a decade. The rest of the weekend has been pleasant. Uneventful. Full of errands, chores, a really nice walk this morning, yummy food, naps, etc. The one thing about energy that feels constant is that no mood lasts forever. Energy continually shifts and morphs, like the Universe knows too much, too long, of any one sentiment just isn't a good idea for ...

Have you ever known that you need to work out, known that you will feel better if you do, known that a better mood/outlook/world view is just a workout away? Me too. I've been working out in one form or another my entire life. Even before it was cool to work out I did. I have done gymnastics, swum (albeit briefly, for my high school swim team - the butterfly was my stroke of choice), run (though I have the body of a sprinter, I've never been fast, so I have always done distance), danced (Modern, Jazz, random styles too, and at the occasional wedding), Tae Bo'd (serious crush on Billy Blanks lasted nearly a decade), Jazzercised (at the behest of my dance teacher who was a nut and did Jazzercise 6 days a week), hiked (I am in the company of experts with a husband who is doing the John Muir trail this summer, but they're patient, thank goodness), skiied (ok, short story but I like to go fast with many skills yet to develop- need for speed nearly got me killed, beneat...

Whenever I get into a weird emotional space I step back and count my blessings, of which there are a multitude. My daughter is about to graduate from a really good college, and it appears her prospects are growing. My son is gainfully employed by the university from which he graduated, in an international location, and besides being busier than he'd like most days, he's thriving, gaining valuable skills and is afforded opportunities most people twice his age haven't enjoyed. I know this, because I am twice his age. :) My husband is healthy and sassy and appears to adore me even after 26 years in the trenches with me. For this I am eternally grateful. I am on a path of my own creation, one on which I am immersed in the study of a 5000 year old medicine and am stretching my intellectual self to, and beyond, limits most days. My marketing consulting work is going well, though I would like to have a few more clients so that when the ebbs happen, which they do, they w...

Friday was clearly, as I've addressed, a dark day for me. But by late Friday evening, after an evening out on the quad at Hubby's school enjoying Rudy's BBQ at a Welcome Back faculty dinner, things began to lighten and brighten a bit. Thank goodness for this, for with the lightness and brightness came the ability to breathe deeply once more and move forward. By Saturday morning, my energy had risen, and I'd decided the only course of action was action itself. Which I followed, and which resulted in a long, hard run with lots of hill work. In the heat. After lunch and a long shower, I opted to head out to take care of a few errands, to cross some things off my list, and then to return home to nap and nest. I felt the cumulative emotional fatigue coupling with the post-run exhaustion, and knew my nap would be lovely. In a cool house, with the kitty curled up next to me. If I'd stuck to my grass roots plan, the day would have been perfect, really, but I veered ...