Skip to main content

It must be the wind

Whenever I get into a weird emotional space I step back and count my blessings, of which there are a multitude.

My daughter is about to graduate from a really good college, and it appears her prospects are growing.

My son is gainfully employed by the university from which he graduated, in an international location, and besides being busier than he'd like most days, he's thriving, gaining valuable skills and is afforded opportunities most people twice his age haven't enjoyed. I know this, because I am twice his age. :)

My husband is healthy and sassy and appears to adore me even after 26 years in the trenches with me. For this I am eternally grateful.

I am on a path of my own creation, one on which I am immersed in the study of a 5000 year old medicine and am stretching my intellectual self to, and beyond, limits most days.

My marketing consulting work is going well, though I would like to have a few more clients so that when the ebbs happen, which they do, they won't be quite so fear inducing.

Overall, things are great. I am about to have another birthday, and it's not a decade one or one that should cause much in the way of angst or concern. Last year was the biggie for awhile, and I'm good with where I'm at, though I do wish gravity wouldn't be quite such an relentless force some days. Or most days.

Why, then, do I feel a sense of unease,  one that causes a figurative itching beneath my skin and a perpetual off balance sensation in my emotions?

What is going on, and how much control do I actually have over the outcome this time?


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Experiencing system issues

Last night we booked my return flight from Rhode Island. The one I'll be taking once I've situated Daughter in her dorm digs. We used rapid rewards, which tends to take a little longer than other transactions. But still. We were on the phone for almost an hour. An hour! Really? And we had to give them the credit card number 5 times. For one flight and one rental car. I'm just sayin' you guys may be the best bet out there in terms of airline choices, but come on! At least provide fun Hold music if you're going to make people engage for that long. Seriously.

It might have been the moon

 The second Super Moon, also a Harvest Moon, just happened. On the same night I had my mini-meltdown. (see prior post). I've talked with several friends who reported intense emotions, mostly around stuff that needs to be released, resolved. When I think about my angst, and how intense it felt, I realize it was all about that kind of stuff. Old stuff, patterns, thinking, habits. So maybe the moon precipitated things. The bubbling up of angst and anger and icky stuff lasted all that night, but had calmed by yesterday morning. Thank gawd, because that was a morass of darkness, the likes of which I haven't experienced in at least a decade. The rest of the weekend has been pleasant. Uneventful. Full of errands, chores, a really nice walk this morning, yummy food, naps, etc. The one thing about energy that feels constant is that no mood lasts forever. Energy continually shifts and morphs, like the Universe knows too much, too long, of any one sentiment just isn't a good idea for ...

Too much of the wave

My new running shoes? Are killing me. My knees, my hips, it's ridiculous. As much as I loved their cousins, the single wave Mizunos, I don't love these, the double wave Mizunos. Which kind of sucks because: 1. The store I bought them from has a 30 day return policy, and it's been twice that. 2. I spent half again as much on a stepped up model assuming that extra technology would be twice as good for me and my runs and it turns out I was dead wrong. 3. My knees hurt. My hips hurt. I have a bad attitude that will probably go away by tomorrow when I don my old versions of the waves and go for a walk that feels just fine thankyouverymuch. But I see Advil in my future this afternoon. This isn't bad for other reasons including: 1. I may not have to give up running entirely, but I definitely need to give up the double waves. 2. I am not crazy. When I stopped wearing the shoes for a week? The pain went away. Completely. But I didn't make the connection betwe...