Desert Magnolia

To say my life is full of blessings would be a gross understatement. I am incredibly blessed in countless ways. My marriage is working. After 30 years of give and take, raising a family, riding the roller coaster that is life in the modern world, we're solid. We still love each other, and are closer than I ever recall our being. Our communication has strengthened, our shared goals have morphed into simpler but infinitely essential tenets - often with our kiddos at the center. My health is good.  I still need to work on my stress levels, which continue to ebb and flow as I navigate this new profession I've launched.  My kids are great. My son continues to redefine himself after 10 years of East Coast schooling/working for NYU in the Middle East. He's fine. He's contemplating any number of futures. We'll see what he comes up with next.  My daughter, well, she's amazing, and is navigating the rigors of being an analyst at the world's largest brokerage of

Among the 4,912,000 details that a new practitioner makes, whether or not to take insurance ranks among the highest. Pros?  More patients. Cons? Unbelievable administrative burdens. Credentialing. (Kind of like having your wisdom teeth removed, sans anesthesia, and giving birth - at the same time.)  Both clinics in which I practice accept insurance, everyone whose business opinion matters recommends accepting insurance (and jumping through the hoops required to do so), and my practical self says just bite the bullet and do it. Bullet bitten.  Process underway. I've been told it can be days, or in fact weeks, before any news comes from insurance companies about whether they're considering you, their panel is currently closed, or they want to negotiate with you. I am in that space right now, and have been told by my colleagues/mentors that now is the time to take a deep breath because once the credentialing is complete, things get a little nutso, what with treating

Life has taken on a new rhythm now that I'm practicing. There are clinic days, there are private practice days, and there is the weekend. At least, sometimes there is the weekend.  Sometimes the weekend is for practice. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes one weekend day is a clinic day. I'm learning to adapt to a changing schedule. What I'd really like, though...is to have a full week, followed by an empty weekend. I can work really hard all week knowing I have a couple of days to catch up on life, domestics, rest, etc. This may be my many years in corporate life projecting on my new career. I'm not sure if that's it, but my preference would be to have a slightly more normal schedule. Honestly, when you first start practice, you accept patients mostly on their terms, because, mostly, you're just delighted to have patients to treat at all. But after awhile you realize that setting some time boundaries is good for everyone. And preserves a sense of order dur

Friends of mine who graduated before me and have therefore been in the practice trenches for awhile have often shared stories of how differently they are practicing than they thought they would practice. Everyone had preconceptions in school, developed business plans around those ideas, then entered the real world as practitioners and often changed, dramatically, their intended directions. Funny, but now that I am a seasoned 3 month practitioner (ha), I am realizing that what we thought we knew in school is nothing like real life, and that flexibility is key to growth and survival, moving forward. I thought, for example, that I would launch a mobile practice focusing on retirees, but as I've connected with a clinic and am feeling more at home there, I am not sure I want to be on the move all the time. Also, as I've begun to develop my greater mission of focusing on bridging Oriental Medicine and Western medicine, I am close (I think) to establishing a working relationship

"Mom, there's something special about him. He's kind, he's romantic, he's so smart. I think I'm falling for him," she said. He is all of these things and more, and over time my sweet baby girl and her love have explored life together, have move in, have tackled daily logistics and worked together to help develop each other as individuals. He comes from a lovely family from the East coast, a family with which we have grown close over the last few years. They're funny, they're intense, they're Italian, they're foodies, they're very family oriented. And, because of yesterday's events, they will be joined with ours as our offspring unite in marriage. Our baby girl is engaged. And we couldn't be happier. The look on her face as we Facetimed last night was incredible. She was overwhelmed. She was joyous. She was filled with joy and hope and love. And her new fiancee was grinning like a loon, happy that the elaborate schem

It is done. I am practicing, and every single day I wake up and smile, wondering what new challenges will come my way. Because every single day, a new challenge presents itself. Tough cases, practice considerations, long and short term goal development, all represent constant challenges to every aspect of my being. I am a doctor now, in charge of supporting wellness and healing. I am a businesswoman, in charge of planning and growing a healthy, thriving practice. I am a Mom, still, and realize that though my offspring have long flown the nest, they will always need their mother, and I am always on standby should a moment arise where I can support or guide or simply listen to my babies. I am a wife, of almost 30 years now, and that role has evolved once more into a closer partnership, this time with the rigors of grad school replaced with the reality of practicing Oriental Medicine in a modern world. Each day I thank the universe for inspiring me to pursue my heart's drea

So you know that feeling when you know things are about to go nuts and you are doing your best to prepare in every possible way you can to avoid unnecessary whiplash? I'm there. Again. (It's happened several times in recent years, but this time is more huge since I am now licensed and about to practice...) Anyway, I am shopping for malpractice insurance, talking with fellow practitioners (who have all been amazing and supportive and incredibly helpful, sharing their own stories), realizing I have very defined dreams simply because when something happens that doesn't sync up with said dreams, I get twitchy. But I'm told this is part of the process. Twitchy is a state of being at the moment, but so is hopeful and excited and honored..to be about to practice a 5000 year old, unbelievably cool medicine, in the modern world. I think I may need to practice what I preach. Time to meditate, center, be mindful...and enjoy this ramp up to professional life (again in a to

I can't seem to relax without feeling guilty. What is wrong with me? I have just successfully completed an enormous endeavor, and the future looks bright. I am in an in between place now - where I am done, but I am not credentialed yet, which should happen soon. There is no real reason for me to go nuts planning, as I have a couple of ideas in the works that should be a good beginning. Maybe it's because when hubby leaves the house each morning, he says "Whatcha got goin on today? Gonna check on that (name the topic, usually something to do with money) sometime?" Maybe I feel defensive about not yet working (ie earning money). Maybe I have forgotten how to relax over the last five years of insane schedules, nonstop studying, etc. I need to figure this out. Otherwise, this time, this gift of in between? I will squander. And that just seems silly to me. Hugs, Stevie

I am beyond the gauntlet. I have, after five years of study and focus, completed my education and examination process for Oriental Medicine. Within a few weeks my license will arrive, and I will be set to practice this ancient, beautiful medicine. As I write this I am light, I am hopeful, I am absolutely stoked about the future. If there is anything I have learned from the process of becoming a physician, it is ...stick with it. Every single day, even if the volume of knowledge to be consumed/assimilated seems so daunting it induces catatonia at times. Just persist. And show up each and every day ready for what lies ahead. That is all. It may be time for a nap now. Huge hugs, Stevie

As I write this, I have successfully completed five out of the six exams required for licensure in Oriental Medicine. Soon I will be taking the final exam. Finally. I am terrified. I am exhilarated. I am resolute. And after that one is behind me? Shit gets real. Fast. But I like real, and fast doesn't scare me. Though, at this point, after months and months of intense study/review/exam/study/review/exam....which is a totally different pace, a totally different way of living, moving fast may take a little adjusting on my part. Just sayin'. Huge hugs, Stevie

We have had a small pond in our backyard for the last five or so years. It provides a nice water element and requisite fountain sound that adds ambiance to relaxing summer evenings. It adds a colorful element to our raised bed garden, with gorgeous goldfish (big ones) swimming lazily beneath the lily pads. Life has been lovely for the pond, its inhabitants, and us, for years. Until the predators decided that the pond was their own private buffet, and, one Fall, right before we put a mesh cover over the top of the pond to protect it for the winter, they struck. The next morning we were outside, and noticed that the fountain had been tipped over, and that there were lily pads tossed out on the patio. And the fish food had been gnawed on, then also thrown across the flagstones.  The worst part, though, is the fish were gone. All of them. We were astonished, perplexed, saddened by the seemingly random barbarism. Turns out, we have several predators in our neighborhood, including

I like coffee. I am not an addict, really, but I like it. I like one cup of good coffee in the morning.  By good I mean nice beans, darkly roasted but not charred. I grind them fresh, then pour boiling water over them and let them infuse the water with flavor. It's simple, really. One of those daily rituals that you look forward to upon waking. I add a spoon or so of raw sugar, then enjoy the warm, dark liquid. I don't consider myself a snob, but I may have strong preferences. I don't like light coffees, or even medium coffees. I like French Roast or Italian Roast.  Costo carries a vendor we like, so hubby picks me up a two pound bag every couple of months and life is good. It's a New Mexico roaster, so we feel good about the choice - it's always nice to support local. The other day I was at Sprouts picking up a few things, and I noticed they had a sale on their coffee beans. I investigated, remembered that our stock was getting low, and decided to try an Org

Have you ever known that you need to work out, known that you will feel better if you do, known that a better mood/outlook/world view is just a workout away? Me too. I've been working out in one form or another my entire life. Even before it was cool to work out I did. I have done gymnastics, swum (albeit briefly, for my high school swim team - the butterfly was my stroke of choice), run (though I have the body of a sprinter, I've never been fast, so I have always done distance), danced (Modern, Jazz, random styles too, and at the occasional wedding), Tae Bo'd (serious crush on Billy Blanks lasted nearly a decade), Jazzercised (at the behest of my dance teacher who was a nut and did Jazzercise 6 days a week), hiked (I am in the company of experts with a husband who is doing the John Muir trail this summer, but they're patient, thank goodness), skiied (ok, short story but I like to go fast with many skills yet to develop- need for speed nearly got me killed, beneat

This morning the roofers got here, super early, to begin replacing our hail-damaged roof. They come equipped for a day in the trenches - dump truck, miles of plastic sheeting to protect our shrubbery and collect the falling debris, thermoses of what must be super coffee because those guys are working hard..oh, and their own porta potty. The kitties are hiding under the bed. I have Jesse Clark radio playing while I hunker down and get through the day. Right now, after seeing tons of stuff coming off the roof I feel a little nekked - and I hope and pray it doesn't rain. Which it's not supposed to do, but our weather has been known to be ridiculous from time to time. That is all for now. Hugs, Stevie

We finally got a snow. It was about an inch by our house, which isn't much, but the temps were so frigid, the snow fell over a layer of rain that turned to ice and became treacherous. The temp isn't supposed to get above 30 degrees today, and was 15 degrees when we woke up. Schools are closed. Hubby is happy. He's off somewhere in the Subaru enjoying his day off. I am finishing up an article for a client, then think I'll take the rest of the day to play. Why not? Have fun and stay warm! Stevie

I have often heard the phrase 'letting go of that which no longer serves us' used when describing personal growth, maybe leaving a job or relationship or abandoning old emotional tenets that have weighed us down. I am using it literally. Since the beginning of holiday break, I have started to seriously thin my collections of, well, almost anything that happens to catch my eye.  For awhile now I have been in a 'just in case' mode, where I just don't know when I will be earning enough money again to readily replace stuff. Any stuff- shoes, clothes, etc. That perspective has encouraged me to collect more stuff than I need, and to hold onto stuff I no longer use/want. No longer. In the last few days I have loaded up and delivered several more bags to Goodwill, and in the process I am learning more about myself.  Like that buying stuff just because it's on sale is insane, and often results in owning stuff that isn't ideal.  Most things are almost right