Desert Magnolia

My white, bossy, princessy, very very routine-based cat would make a great president. She is sweet (diplomatic), but somehow always gets her way. She is attractive, which we know helps in general. Yes, I just said that. She is vain, which means her opponents might underestimate her and compliment her excessively. But she is smarter than vain, so when she sees through the ploy, they'd better be careful. (See suffering no fools comment.) She is smart, anticipates her 'opponent's' next moves, and suffers no fools. She has NO patience for stupidity. None. Tipper Ann slightly pissed to have been disturbed during beauty sleep She is also incredibly prompt. That little pussy cat stomps on my body every single morning at 602 a.m. if I am not UP already. And if you've ever had a cat you know that when they stomp, their entire body weight is focused upon the foot they're currently pressing through your belly to your backbone. It's a physics thing....

Tipper Ann is quite the feline. She's white, with a gray blaze on her forehead and a gray tip on her tail. She grooms incessantly, is a creature of habit, and has perfected the art of owning a human being. I, as it turns out, am her human. Make no mistake, I buy her Science Diet and organic kitty treats, see that she's well and cared for and has a clean litter box at all times and knows she's well and truly adored, but in the end, I am her subject. Her pet. Her hers hers. The cool thing about a very distinguished cat? They're goofy too. Like the time when she was draped over the ironing board, espied her own tail, and played keep away with herself for about twenty minutes. Or the time when she decided that it was waaaay fun to run full speed down the hall, across the entryway, through the kitchen, then do a ninety degree turn into the breakfast nook, losing traction in her backend and skidding like crazy before she regained her footing then accelerated again, this...