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On Privacy

Or the lack thereof, actually.

Case in point? Facebook.

As the Marketing Director for a high tech firm, my boss made me create a Facebook account for myself years ago. Which I did, because I get it. And then business pages became the norm, so we created pages for all of our brands, which is fine. And part of marketing in the modern era. I get that too.

But this isn't about promoting your business in places your audience is likely to see you, this is about the personal stuff.

This is about endless posts supporting or bashing a political party. Yes, I'm a Democrat. I also support Planned Parenthood - actively and loudly for being the incredibly supportive organization that they are. I don't believe guns are good for most people to own, and I believe our health care system was in crisis long before Obamacare. It's taken a long series of stupendously bad decisions to create the pickle barrel we're all in at the moment. (Which may explain my pursuit of a health care degree that's considered alternative, but which allows people to be healthy without endless prescriptions for life, often).

Go ahead and sue me and let's move on. But please don't insist on shoving your hateful, ignorant, right wing conservative negativity at me every.single.day via crap you found out there that says it for you, and to which you link. Please just stop it.

This is about confused individuals (they have to be bipolar at least...maybe tripolar, though I realize that's impossible, but still) who attempt to be something they're not on FB. Case in point one person I know who, I know for a fact has big anger management issues, posts Zenlike and spiritual aphorisms on a regular basis that are about making him look like he's a gentle, spiritual person. Which he's not. 20 minutes later he'll post something about the right to bear arms (and some ridiculous bumper sticker type sentiment on THAT topic). Which is a little confusing, don't you think? I've never really known of a Zen master who would argue that carrying concealed is a fundamental human right. Ever.

This is about creating an heroic public persona via personal accomplishments that becomes a red herring identity. We are all many things, and sometimes the stuff that gets shown out on the big FB is ridiculously self aggrandizing. It seems to me adding human foibles to the mix would make it a whole lot more interesting in the long run than focusing only on the big, shiny feats. Because sometimes those feats just make other people feel bad that they're not running 100 mile races in the dark, in the mountains, or taking half of every weekend morning to train for events that simply don't even get on half of our radar because we're just busy living and trying not to grow out of our favorite jeans and make a living and ensure that life on the home front is solid and rich and good. Which makes me wonder if boredom combined with no real sense of self is what propels these folks to just brag and brag and brag and basically make me want to unfriend them. Because really, a little humility is a good thing.

Wow. It appears I have opened up a whole can of annoyances around that social network, haven't I? Hmmmm..

Onward.

And, possibly as a subset of the self aggrandizing group, exists those who use FB as a modified Match.com, and expose only their humanitarian hobbies and depict themselves as selfless, near martyrs in the game of life. Which I know to be bullshit, because I have known several of these people for decades, and they're good people, they're humans, they're flawed, and some of them have weird habits like playing online video games until all hours of the morning or words with friends during social gatherings (where one would expect interaction not withdrawal into an online universe that apparently trumps reality at any given moment.) For this set of FB'ers...the sun is always shining, the perspective is always positive, and the moment (any moment) is always full of hope and opportunity. Sometimes playing like crap on the golf course has to rankle, it's not ALWAYS 'gorgeous day on the course, too bad the clubs and my brain weren't in sync [smiley face]'.  It's ok to have a shitty day now and again. It's ok to lose your temper from time to time. It makes you funny and flawed and human.

Oh, there I go with that again..that human thing. Better not depict yourself as real or nobody will LIKE you, right?

Ah, and another incredibly annoying subset of the self aggrandizers? The Bragging Parents. Please note there is a huge difference in my mind between Proud Parents and Bragging Parents. Proud Parents express their pride in a venue that they know their children will see, and it's a way of publicly acknowledging those offspring who are amazing or who have accomplished something wonderful. I totally get that. The Bragging Parents, however, and we all know who they are (their real life counterparts line soccer fields and mingle at cocktail parties and generally pervade family and social events and just shove into your face how MARVELOUS their child/children is/are..in a way that's borderline creepy and always makes me want to encourage them to find a hobby or get a life of their own).  

Sigh.

These admissions..are not about trying to diss the entire social media world. I get the reason it exists. But I don't think it's always healthy. And, the longer I've witnessed endless posts by all of these types and more, the more I want to quietly fade into the background and never say anything of any real value, of a personal nature, ever again.

Oh, wait. I'm already there. At some point, it seems, privacy became more valuable to me than exposure on a level that boggles the mind.

-Stevie

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