Skip to main content

So, hi.

Happy Summer! Really summer..like 6th of July summer!

Par for the course here in the high desert, it just rained. Hard. I believe the term 'like cats and dogs' would have fit perfectly. There was darkness as the storm moved in - fast. There was thunder, lightening, big wind, then RAIN! And some hail, but more rain...

For about 15 minutes, then it blew itself out. The fish pond is overflowing. The garden is super happy. The air smells great.

It's over.

Onward.

Have you ever had a feeling of heaviness, of just plain fatigue that won't let up? Have you ever had to take inventory of your day prior to your feet hitting the ground just so you know a: what day it is, and b: where you're expected to be and what you're expected to do?

Me too. Right now. I blame this on the seemingly endless journey of Oriental Medical school. I blame this on being at midlife and understanding the need for true rest, and knowing that elusive pastime will have to wait until after I graduate finish boards get licensed open a practice begin to succeed.

Also, I have a few observations to make about school.

First, the trimester system was designed by a sadist. It completely interferes with settling into knowledge, and allowing what you've crammed into your brain for the last months become a permanent part of you.

Second, arbitrary, ego-based decisions that impact many, many lives? Suck.  Case in point, our school is moving to Santa Fe, totally closing the Albuquerque campus which has several thousand patients, and a high probably of growth should the school decide to actually promote the program. Which they haven't. And they won't, now, since the campus is closing at the end of this term. And I will be commuting to Santa Fe for the last year of my education.

Mostly, that sucks. I am trying to find a silver lining to this cloud bank, but for right now? Lots of dark, puffy, sucky clouds.

Third, I have, in the past three years, learned how much I can learn, how much discomfort I can take before I break, and how little ego was appropriate early in the program when we were all humble students. I've not yet broken, simply grown stronger, and I've learned humility in a big way. But now, with the 4th year just around the corner, it's time to find a backbone, a conviction, some opinions about how to practice this medicine, and step forward and perform. Which I'm working on.

Turns out if you've learned humility, developing a pair once more takes practice. Who knew?

Qi gong has become a daily mainstay for me. It provides a calming, centering practice that keeps me from finding my breaking points ...in any area, and for that I am grateful.

I went for two walk/jogs over the last few days and realize how I've missed that. During midterms I was head down just surviving yet another gauntlet of testing. I did Qi gong, but my outside stuff fell away...After waking up this morning sore but happier than I have been in awhile, I realized it's about making things that help me stay healthy and strong a priority. Note to self, put yourself at the top of the daily To Do list.

So I'll have to fill you in on the minutia of my life if I can find the time to write more. Since I last posted, I got my hair cut short again ( I need to update my photo, yes?), my son has been home for a wonderful visit, my husband has become a hiking all star, my daughter and her boyfriend have moved in together, a dear friend has had open heart surgery, Grandma Gin has had another stent placed (which worked beautifully!), my Mom and her boyfriend have adopted an ailing crow fledgling and are nursing it back to health, and some close friends tied the knot. So there's plenty to write about, and I promise I'll try, energy and time allowing...

That's about all for now. I hope you are all enjoying your summer, and that your lives are full and interesting and make you giggle from time to time.

Big hugs and much love,

Stevie

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hello there 48

And where on earth did 35-47 go??? But I'm being overly dramatic. Again. See, four dozen? Not such a bad place to be when you're me. I've done a lot, I've seen a lot, I've raised a family and landed airplanes and docked yachts and landed (then released of course!) a marlin and climbed mountains and run a LOT of miles and loved deeply and long and hard and felt..so much that, surprisingly did not kill me..that I feel stronger and more centered and energized than in a long time. And I'm blessed with more than one person can ever rightly expect in one lifetime. And I now possess the wisdom to observe a nanosecond longer than I would have 20 years ago before jumping headlong into a new adventure. Which means many less mistakes but still the desire to stretch and grow and be better and more open and generally less judgemental and overall more accepting and mostly, mostly, knowing that this gift of life is precious and special and mine to experience any way ...

It's been a minute

Oh, what a summer it's been! Heat, the likes of which we have never seen seems to be enveloping the planet. They told us this would happen, and it is.  Now what? Is it time to think underground bunkers? To really explore moon colonies? To continue, on an individual basis to do what we feel we can to help the greater effort? We bought a hybrid two years ago. We'll probably buy an electric car once we feel like the infrastructure is in place, but right now, it's not.  We recycle. Glass ( WHO is drinking all of that wine?! I ask myself each time I toss the bottles into the big bin.). Food. We compost all but animal products, and use it in the garden.  Cardboard/cans/plastics go in the recycle bin each Tuesday. My husband thinks the whole recycle thing is a big scam, and that all of the recycling and trash gets taken to the same place - the dump - because there isn't adequate staffing to sort and really carry out the recycle process.  I feel this is a cynical view, but ...

More angst on the unfinished book

Bear with me here, as I'm nearly at a decision point with this project. Really, I am. As I've reread and contemplated writing the finish, then going back and scrubbing and editing like crazy and generally attempting to update a piece I began so long ago, I've become exhausted. Repeatedly. Last night, in a text exchange with Daughter, I explained I'd picked up the manuscript again and was seriously thinking of finishing it. And she replied, 'Mom, you should just start something new. That thing is almost 20 years old now, and you're a completely different person than you were when you started it. Just know that I look forward to a finished project out of you one day, and really, why not go for something more current and stop wasting time on the old stuff you'll practically have to rewrite anyway? ' Out of the mouths of babes, right?