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So, hi.

Happy Summer! Really summer..like 6th of July summer!

Par for the course here in the high desert, it just rained. Hard. I believe the term 'like cats and dogs' would have fit perfectly. There was darkness as the storm moved in - fast. There was thunder, lightening, big wind, then RAIN! And some hail, but more rain...

For about 15 minutes, then it blew itself out. The fish pond is overflowing. The garden is super happy. The air smells great.

It's over.

Onward.

Have you ever had a feeling of heaviness, of just plain fatigue that won't let up? Have you ever had to take inventory of your day prior to your feet hitting the ground just so you know a: what day it is, and b: where you're expected to be and what you're expected to do?

Me too. Right now. I blame this on the seemingly endless journey of Oriental Medical school. I blame this on being at midlife and understanding the need for true rest, and knowing that elusive pastime will have to wait until after I graduate finish boards get licensed open a practice begin to succeed.

Also, I have a few observations to make about school.

First, the trimester system was designed by a sadist. It completely interferes with settling into knowledge, and allowing what you've crammed into your brain for the last months become a permanent part of you.

Second, arbitrary, ego-based decisions that impact many, many lives? Suck.  Case in point, our school is moving to Santa Fe, totally closing the Albuquerque campus which has several thousand patients, and a high probably of growth should the school decide to actually promote the program. Which they haven't. And they won't, now, since the campus is closing at the end of this term. And I will be commuting to Santa Fe for the last year of my education.

Mostly, that sucks. I am trying to find a silver lining to this cloud bank, but for right now? Lots of dark, puffy, sucky clouds.

Third, I have, in the past three years, learned how much I can learn, how much discomfort I can take before I break, and how little ego was appropriate early in the program when we were all humble students. I've not yet broken, simply grown stronger, and I've learned humility in a big way. But now, with the 4th year just around the corner, it's time to find a backbone, a conviction, some opinions about how to practice this medicine, and step forward and perform. Which I'm working on.

Turns out if you've learned humility, developing a pair once more takes practice. Who knew?

Qi gong has become a daily mainstay for me. It provides a calming, centering practice that keeps me from finding my breaking points ...in any area, and for that I am grateful.

I went for two walk/jogs over the last few days and realize how I've missed that. During midterms I was head down just surviving yet another gauntlet of testing. I did Qi gong, but my outside stuff fell away...After waking up this morning sore but happier than I have been in awhile, I realized it's about making things that help me stay healthy and strong a priority. Note to self, put yourself at the top of the daily To Do list.

So I'll have to fill you in on the minutia of my life if I can find the time to write more. Since I last posted, I got my hair cut short again ( I need to update my photo, yes?), my son has been home for a wonderful visit, my husband has become a hiking all star, my daughter and her boyfriend have moved in together, a dear friend has had open heart surgery, Grandma Gin has had another stent placed (which worked beautifully!), my Mom and her boyfriend have adopted an ailing crow fledgling and are nursing it back to health, and some close friends tied the knot. So there's plenty to write about, and I promise I'll try, energy and time allowing...

That's about all for now. I hope you are all enjoying your summer, and that your lives are full and interesting and make you giggle from time to time.

Big hugs and much love,

Stevie

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