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Rubber, road, me

There comes a time in a student's life when they become an intern. A for real, going to be hands on with patients every day kind of intern.

I become one of those in the Fall. And I have to say, I'm feeling mixed emotions.

On one hand I cannot wait to apply what I'm learning to address patient needs.

On the other I'm wondering how on earth I could possibly be ready for such tasks.

On another I'm thinking that between this term and next, not only will I be taking a 'break clinic', where I'll be treating every day for a solid week under a supervisor, I'll be reviewing all of my diagnosis texts that accompanied a very cool but very academic class that I took last summer, the majority of which had no context because I'd not taken the other foundational classes to make it make sense. If that makes sense...

Anyway, I'm excited but nervous but realize that this moment, when academia becomes practical medicine, represents the biggest, brightest light in the tunnel for me so far in this program. I still have forever to go, but if I'm getting to be with patients and reinforce what I'm learning via treatments, that is way way cool and will help me get though the hardest, darkest moments of fatigue and self doubt and utter frustration that accompany learning medicine.

As trite as it sounds, I am really seriously considering getting a lotus blossom tattooed on my...maybe right hip...where I'll see it every time I get out of the shower, and which will remind me that this endeavor, while arduous and occasionally painful, leads to a beautiful place where the real work of building a practice, developing a true personal style and sharing the medicine that has sustained China for over 4000 years...begins.


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