So, hi. I'm really not sure where to begin so I'll start where I left off nearly a month ago and move forward...
Timeline 9/20/12.
I get on a plane and head East. Made it to Minneapolis before Delta, the least reliable airline in the entire world (that isn't currently in bankruptcy) with what must be an abyssmal on time record announced that our commuter jet from Minneapolis to Providence had 'a pretty big dent in the cargo door', and that they were going to have to address that before we could leave.
Well, yeah. That would be good. Address the big dent in the skin of the airplane BEFORE we take off, please.
Turns out the dent was bigger than they'd thought at first, so really, the next step was to 'wheel over another plane' and then we'd be all set to go.
Up until this point I didn't realize that extra planes are just sort of stored...just for these occasions when a ball peen hammer and some swearing aren't going to do the trick with the dents.
Replacement plane, when towed up to our gate, then had its own issues. First the heating/cooling system 'just didn't want to fire up'....and then there was something else equally ludicrous that occurred that, in the end, made us about 90 minutes late leaving.
The good news? We reached Providence without a hitch, and were comfy with our heat/A/C the whole journey.
I picked up my rental car and made it to Daughter without any issues at all. It was wonderful. Because my first trip out lo several years back now was pretty funny as I took the wrong exit...and ended up somewhere I shouldn't have been and wouldn't have been if I'd known where I was going, which I didn't or I wouldn't have ended up in that place to begin with. Fortunately Daughter and friends talked me in that time...literally wouldn't let me off the phone as they consulted Google Maps and my route and my current location..they were wonderful. They should really work for NASA, they were that good.
I seem to have digressed. Again.
Anyway, I got to my girl, and it was amazing to hug and hold and catch up. We went to Whole Foods and stocked up on all kinds of things. Food for dinner the next night, healthy snacks, smoothies, staple items, etc., were in our basket.
By the time we'd run our errands and headed back to her apartment, it was time for bed.
Timeline 9/21/12.
We drive to the hospital for Daughter's surgery. It's close to her apartment, and I think I'll be able to get us back to her place afterwards, which is good because we know she is going to be zonked.
The checkin, changing clothes, getting an IV in, all happen...then they kick me out into the waiting room while they wheel her into presurgery where they perform a femoral block to numb the leg, prep her for the procedure, etc.
I crochet. I drink bad hospital coffee and listen to Good Morning America, something I've not done in forever. I meet another Mom of a Providence College kid who is having a similar surgery to my daughter's right after her. Same surgeon. I eat a handful of almonds. A couple hours later I eat a Balance Bar. I get up to stretch, get more hospital coffee, and pee.
3 hours after I last saw my girl, the surgeon comes out and beckons me for a consult. In a pretty little room designed to put people at ease..it's not sterile, there are nice landscapes on the wall, the lighting is gentle (unlike the flourescent lit waiting area), the walls are a muted gray, they've done a good job.
Surgeon says, 'First off, everything went perfectly. Perfectly. Your daughter is going to be just fine.' At which point I reach out and touch the doctor's arm and thank him for getting that really important part out of the way instead of waiting until he'd shared all the details in the photographs he's holding...
Then he shares the photos with me. And it is absolutely clear at that point that the surgery had to happen. Had to. There was a nickel sized piece of cartilage floating in her knee, which he extracted. There was a snaggly edge where the nickel sized piece of cartilage broke off, which he smoothed out. Then he microfractured the surrounding bone to encourage blood circulation in the area. There was some meniscal tearing, which he repaired.
And then there was the ACL. Actually, it never really became her ACL. It never vascularized, that first graft. Ever. It was wavy, loose, ineffective, and I instinctively hated it on sight. When the surgeon said that, said the graft had never taken, I began to cry. My girl has been working herself to death trying to get her body to do something it simply could not do without a functional ACL. And in the process she's endangered her hamstring and overcompensated in other ways that have taken a toll.
Surgeon, a sweet man, smiled at me, patted my shoulder, and said, 'It makes many things make sense now, for all of us. This is going to turn out fine. We've done everything that we can, and now she needs to heal. And we'll continue to do what we can in terms of rehab and good care.'
I could have kissed him right then, but I didn't. I am married, he is married, and I was a raving lunatic at that point so he might just have had me arrested. But I think he saw the gratitude in my eyes.
Later that day, once we'd gotten the girl back to her apartment a new normal began. The new normal was about keeping her as pain free as possible, as well fed as possible, jollied up (she has a tremendous group of friends who will help with this..), and mostly just easing into post-knee op life.
We had good moments, we had bad moments. But the trend, after about day 4, was incremental betterness with each hour/day.
I returned home after a week, but I could have stayed a month and been just fine with it.
I did all the things I wanted to do in terms of cooking lots of food for an endless stream of well wishers and good friends. I helped my girl get through the worst of the worst post op stuff. And I got to see for myself, by meeting her training team, her strength coach, her boyfriend, her friends..that she will be just fine without the hovering mama there.
Don't get me started on my return trip. Just know that we did NOT leave Providence ontime, and I missed my connecting flight in Detroit. They tried to get me to spend the night in Detroit at a lovely Days Inn. And they even gave me three, three, food vouchers for $6 each to keep me alive until the next day.
But I politely declined their invitation to stay in Motor City one second more than I absolutely had to. Because as much as I like spontaneity from time to time, that little plan change wasn't welcome at that point when I had hit absolute bottom from an emotional exhaustion standpoint.
Ok, I may have been a littlebitchy insistent. But no fucking way was I NOT getting home that night. Even if I had to fly across the US and back to get there.
Which I did.
Salt Lake City is nice under a full moon. I know this. I've seen it.
Timeline 9/20/12.
I get on a plane and head East. Made it to Minneapolis before Delta, the least reliable airline in the entire world (that isn't currently in bankruptcy) with what must be an abyssmal on time record announced that our commuter jet from Minneapolis to Providence had 'a pretty big dent in the cargo door', and that they were going to have to address that before we could leave.
Well, yeah. That would be good. Address the big dent in the skin of the airplane BEFORE we take off, please.
Turns out the dent was bigger than they'd thought at first, so really, the next step was to 'wheel over another plane' and then we'd be all set to go.
Up until this point I didn't realize that extra planes are just sort of stored...just for these occasions when a ball peen hammer and some swearing aren't going to do the trick with the dents.
Replacement plane, when towed up to our gate, then had its own issues. First the heating/cooling system 'just didn't want to fire up'....and then there was something else equally ludicrous that occurred that, in the end, made us about 90 minutes late leaving.
The good news? We reached Providence without a hitch, and were comfy with our heat/A/C the whole journey.
I picked up my rental car and made it to Daughter without any issues at all. It was wonderful. Because my first trip out lo several years back now was pretty funny as I took the wrong exit...and ended up somewhere I shouldn't have been and wouldn't have been if I'd known where I was going, which I didn't or I wouldn't have ended up in that place to begin with. Fortunately Daughter and friends talked me in that time...literally wouldn't let me off the phone as they consulted Google Maps and my route and my current location..they were wonderful. They should really work for NASA, they were that good.
I seem to have digressed. Again.
Anyway, I got to my girl, and it was amazing to hug and hold and catch up. We went to Whole Foods and stocked up on all kinds of things. Food for dinner the next night, healthy snacks, smoothies, staple items, etc., were in our basket.
By the time we'd run our errands and headed back to her apartment, it was time for bed.
Timeline 9/21/12.
We drive to the hospital for Daughter's surgery. It's close to her apartment, and I think I'll be able to get us back to her place afterwards, which is good because we know she is going to be zonked.
The checkin, changing clothes, getting an IV in, all happen...then they kick me out into the waiting room while they wheel her into presurgery where they perform a femoral block to numb the leg, prep her for the procedure, etc.
I crochet. I drink bad hospital coffee and listen to Good Morning America, something I've not done in forever. I meet another Mom of a Providence College kid who is having a similar surgery to my daughter's right after her. Same surgeon. I eat a handful of almonds. A couple hours later I eat a Balance Bar. I get up to stretch, get more hospital coffee, and pee.
3 hours after I last saw my girl, the surgeon comes out and beckons me for a consult. In a pretty little room designed to put people at ease..it's not sterile, there are nice landscapes on the wall, the lighting is gentle (unlike the flourescent lit waiting area), the walls are a muted gray, they've done a good job.
Surgeon says, 'First off, everything went perfectly. Perfectly. Your daughter is going to be just fine.' At which point I reach out and touch the doctor's arm and thank him for getting that really important part out of the way instead of waiting until he'd shared all the details in the photographs he's holding...
Then he shares the photos with me. And it is absolutely clear at that point that the surgery had to happen. Had to. There was a nickel sized piece of cartilage floating in her knee, which he extracted. There was a snaggly edge where the nickel sized piece of cartilage broke off, which he smoothed out. Then he microfractured the surrounding bone to encourage blood circulation in the area. There was some meniscal tearing, which he repaired.
And then there was the ACL. Actually, it never really became her ACL. It never vascularized, that first graft. Ever. It was wavy, loose, ineffective, and I instinctively hated it on sight. When the surgeon said that, said the graft had never taken, I began to cry. My girl has been working herself to death trying to get her body to do something it simply could not do without a functional ACL. And in the process she's endangered her hamstring and overcompensated in other ways that have taken a toll.
Surgeon, a sweet man, smiled at me, patted my shoulder, and said, 'It makes many things make sense now, for all of us. This is going to turn out fine. We've done everything that we can, and now she needs to heal. And we'll continue to do what we can in terms of rehab and good care.'
I could have kissed him right then, but I didn't. I am married, he is married, and I was a raving lunatic at that point so he might just have had me arrested. But I think he saw the gratitude in my eyes.
Later that day, once we'd gotten the girl back to her apartment a new normal began. The new normal was about keeping her as pain free as possible, as well fed as possible, jollied up (she has a tremendous group of friends who will help with this..), and mostly just easing into post-knee op life.
We had good moments, we had bad moments. But the trend, after about day 4, was incremental betterness with each hour/day.
I returned home after a week, but I could have stayed a month and been just fine with it.
I did all the things I wanted to do in terms of cooking lots of food for an endless stream of well wishers and good friends. I helped my girl get through the worst of the worst post op stuff. And I got to see for myself, by meeting her training team, her strength coach, her boyfriend, her friends..that she will be just fine without the hovering mama there.
Don't get me started on my return trip. Just know that we did NOT leave Providence ontime, and I missed my connecting flight in Detroit. They tried to get me to spend the night in Detroit at a lovely Days Inn. And they even gave me three, three, food vouchers for $6 each to keep me alive until the next day.
But I politely declined their invitation to stay in Motor City one second more than I absolutely had to. Because as much as I like spontaneity from time to time, that little plan change wasn't welcome at that point when I had hit absolute bottom from an emotional exhaustion standpoint.
Ok, I may have been a little
Which I did.
Salt Lake City is nice under a full moon. I know this. I've seen it.
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