Desert Magnolia

Said ass kicker dealt up my first exam in 14 years. And it was hard. And I made some stupid mistakes, got some hard stuff right, and had to talk myself off a panic attack ledge at least twice, which made me forget stuff I know, but couldn't access. I walked out of that exam feeling disappointed, mostly in myself. For not being clever enough to anticipate what the prof was going to throw at us. For not intuiting his style prior to our first exam. For not having a photofuckingraphic memory so the stuff that was on that table he told us we didn't need to study but that he put on the exam anyway? Would have already been automatically saved in my brain and it wouldn't have been a biggie. Overall, I'd say if I wasn't as old, experienced and determined as I am? I'd be second guessing my decision. But I'm old, experienced, and determined and will figure out what I did wrong, learn it right, and move on. Cuz that's how it works when you're a grown up. ...

After several months of learning more, and mostly adhering to a Primal diet, I'm finding that some interesting things have happened. Warning: If you just aren't interested in this aspect of my life, leave now. There's not too much else in the post besides more talk of music, some thoughts on studying for my first exam and the soul deep concentration required to choose a color for the pedi I intend to get on the way home today.  Ok, then. If you're still here, you care about what I've noticed since embarking upon this Primal journey. Or you care about what color I'm thinking for a mid-Winter toe treat. Either way, hi. So at first the Primal thing is weird. We spend a remarkable amount of time baking, enjoying foods full of grains, eating rice and let's not get started on soy. No sirree. There is a lot of creating a new awareness of what to avoid. Which feels a little restrictive, but that goes away pretty quickly. Breakfasts can be a little monotonous...

Today marked the end of a long and intense week. Like most Fridays, I suppose. But today I decided not get caught up in the chaos, but just to listen to good music and forge through my project list as best I could. In spite of a few tangential memory moments, (first kiss with the most delicious college guy who was way older than me and wow... flashbacks to long road trips between here and California listening to the Eagles, navigating Sunday mornings with Santana in the background,  long, hot days on the boat down in Mexico where the sea stretched onto forever and the colors were clear, sharp and uniquely Baja, etc.) I got a lot done. In fact, even during the nostalgic wave I accomplished a great deal. Which makes me want to use music as a buffer more often. Because stark reality? Is overrated. Happy weekend!

The whole work/school routine is falling into place, and I'm pretty sure by the end of the first semester I'll be in a really good groove. Because that's just how I roll. But in the meantime, while the groove is establishing and I am adjusting to being a pretty old chick back in school? I'm kind of a dud. For example, say you wanted me to watch a favorite TV show with you after dinner. And I said 'Sure!' because I like our favorite TV shows, and I got all settled in on the couch and snuggled up and watched the opening scene of Modern Family, then fell asleep. Hard. Out like a light out. Cut to later, when Daughter (who was still home last week when I did this) says, 'Mom, it's time for bed. Come on, do NOT sleep on the couch. It always seems like a great idea until about 2 a.m. when you're really uncomfortable and need the bed...' Wowza. The sleep I did without in college? I'm having to catch up on now. And since I'm back in schoo...

Daughter left on Sunday morning, which meant my Sunday afternoon was kind of without its normal abundance of oxygen...This always happens, and I can say that my recovery period is getting shorter and the breathlessness is becoming less suffocating. But it still happens, and I suspect it probably always will. After I dropped her at the airport I ran some errands, then went home and went for longest, hardest run I'd gone on since before our trip. The air was balmy, in fact I ran in shorts and a sweatshirt. The sun on my face felt calming and soothing and the slight breeze kept me from regretting choosing the sweatshirt over a lighter technical shirt.... Arm work, ab work and stretching followed the run. And a shower, of course. And once I was cool and clean, I decided to sit...quietly, for about twenty minutes, in the sunbeam shining into our living room. I felt a soft settling, an internal acceptance of the new now, almost like a sigh from my soul, and a sense of peace came ov...

Stevie's Magic Genie Lamp Since no trip the Middle East is complete without the acquisition of some bling as well as a magic lamp or two, I had to buy this one. It's really pretty (there is more pink in it than this lame photo shows, but that's all I can do for the moment). Of course now I want to make some wishes. And I don't want to pay any price for them, just get what I want. If that's not a spoiled-y only child sentiment, I don't know what is, but there you have it. Me, frazzled, exhausted but elated, and really really really glad it's Friday. My three wishes today? 1. Dinner on Elliott Bay with my friend JL 2. Clarity and fortitude (they go hand in hand so they count as one wish, ahem) to be really good at the school thing 3. A stellar weekend with my girl, who returns to school on Sunday. What would you wish for? Happy Weekend! Hugs, Stevie

New Agers have really skewed how the world thinks of something as fundamental as chi. They've commercialized it, and made a concept that's around 4,000 years old sound trite. But trite it's not. No sirree... Bottom line? When you're dealing with a person's chi, you're working with fundamental energy and you'd better be careful. You can do great good, assuming you know what you're doing. Or you can do great harm if you're just a hack without proper chi training. So the next time someone comes up to you and offers to 'adjust your chi', and that little voice in your head screams 'RUN, DO NOT LET THEM NEAR THE CHI!'...you should listen to it. Chi is sacred, and should be treated with utmost care. Week 1, Oriental Medicine school, redux.

Orientations happen this week. Several, for different reasons, at the school. Found a nice book bag- understated, black, Kenneth Cole. Had some notebooks, so grabbed one of them and stuffed it in the bag. On the way home from work, gonna stop at Office Max for highlighters and pens. Which should completely and totally prepare me for my new venture, right?? Oh, and there's reading. I'm about halfway through the first book, which is a great intro to Oriental Medicine, and which does a lovely compare/contrast with Western medicine-very helpful when undertaking study, yes? So wish me luck. I'm working on my 'studious' face. And am really hoping I don't get to dust off my 'what the hell was I thinking' face any time soon.

The quintessential crisis surrounding my daughter's departure for college has begun to calm down. My life has undergone serious scrutiny, as happens in these cases, and for the most part I find myself happy and fulfilled. To be quite honest, I've been so incredibly blessed I feel guilty. Which means that when I began to listen to a quiet, yet insistent, voice which urged me to explore my next big personal growth direction, I felt like I was playing with fire. I mean, how happy can one person be in a lifetime? And then I snapped out of it, and decided to heed the voice..that was encouraging me to view myself ten years down the road and decide if what I saw pleased me, or if making adjustments and maybe adding to my life in one way or another made sense. Turns out, I want to do more. And I want to do it by studying Oriental Medicine. The whole banana- acupuncture and herbs, to eventually become a practitioner. I say eventually because I've decided to tackle this ...

I had never been across the pond. Ever. Lots of time in Mexico, a venture or two into British Columbia, but never across the pond. International travel is its own beast. And I've fallen for the beast. Head over heels, heart stopping absolutely gotta do it again ASAP fallen. This probably comes as no surprise to those of you who've traveled abroad. There is an allure that cannot be overstated. Paris? Really? That city has more character in one of its potholes than our entire country does so far! The richness of history, the soul deep beauty, the architecture, what's NOT to absolutely love? (and yes, LG, even the gargoyles and abundance of random statuary and cherubim!) The Middle East..was new as well. Seeing a city up close that hadn't existed 40 years earlier that now resembles a Hollywood movie set with a dramatic, skyscraper-filled skyline and a veneer of slick and modern? Enlightening. In many ways. Seeing another city up close (Dubai this time), the proud...