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Time to just be for a bit

Of late I've felt dark and heavy and full of questions for the universe. And while I realize that the answers are going to come from within me, not originate externally, I'm a little impatient at the whole damned process, to be quite honest. I get it, I'm just kind of crabby about it some days.

Empty nesting isn't for wimps, I'm finding, but it's all part of life so navigating it with some degree of elegance is my goal.  So far things are going mostly well, but I've just discovered that if anything gets out of sync in my life, I feel it more right now. A bad day becomes a really bad day until I jolly myself out of it, or one of my friends does that for me. Stress seems to accumulate more quickly than in the past, so I'm really focusing on managing that better, with various degrees of success, depending upon the source of the stress.

My close friend, Grey's and Off the Map texting buddy, JL, is headed off on a grand adventure. To the Pacific Northwest. This weekend. Which is really soon.

JL's move represents an opportunity for her to start over in many ways, and to do so in a city famous for its food, its technology, its beauty, its outdoor vistas, and so on.  She will certainly bloom where she is planted, and the Pacific Northwest is an awesome place to plant oneself.

She deserves this. I'm happy for her. I want her to stretch and grow and breathe in that sea air and clear her head and live her life on her terms, fully and ethically and elegantly. 'Cuz that's how she rolls.

But I am really going to miss that lady. She snuck into my heart and became a very dear friend when I didn't realize I wanted and needed one as much as I clearly did. I know that distance means less than it ever has, that technology makes it easier to stay in touch, which is cool.

I think the part I'm dreading the most is the absence of her energy, every single day, in the office. Her grin as she walks in to face another day in the trenches, her wry humor, her fashion tips, her very kind and patient ear, and her views on how to live well...these will not be captured with technology. The daily stuff will change, as it must.

My self-prescription during the adjustment period will include meditation, some more focus on my yoga practice, which in recent months has suffered mightily for various reasons, and embracing the many blessings in my life. And maybe some good vampire or werewolf romances books. Those are also helpful.

But I'm not going to pretend it won't suck for awhile as we get used to this new reality.
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Comments

  1. Lemon GloriaMarch 23, 2011 at 7:50 PM

    You seem like you do a very good job of looking inward and figuring out how to be at peace with the ups and downs of life. I know you will weather this just fine.

    I know distance means less and less, but it's always terrible to lose a day-to-day friend. These people are important. You definitely don't need to pretend it won't suck for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  2. StevieMarch 28, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    Some days I feel like a poser, though. I totally miss her already, and you're right..it's going to suck.

    I guess what I don't want to happen is to dwell too much. That's not healthy either.

    Always walking that fine line, aren't we? :-)

    ReplyDelete

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