This year, hubby and I contemplated getting away for Thanksgiving. We entertained the thought of staying in Santa Fe, enjoying a lovely meal out, walking around the plaza, and mostly NOT dealing with the family political dynamic that has plagued recent (ok, at least the last 10 if not more) Turkey Day celebrations. The fact that our kids will not be home adds to the feeling of liberation - there is no tradition to uphold if they aren't here, right? In fact, daughter and her boyfriend will be in Italy this year. Italy. Touring, eating the most amazing foods and drinking Italian wine. They're even taking a cooking class in Tuscany while they're there. They'll be having an incredible, romantic time, and doing what you should do - which is enjoying the event. Son is too far away to come home for Thanksgiving, but will be home for Christmas, which warms my mama heart to its very core. He will be celebrating with friends in Abu Dhabi, and will most likely host - he is the chef of the bunch, and a bunch he usually entertains for holidays like this.
Historically we have hosted. For 25 or so years we've opted to roast the big bird, set the scene for the celebration, and, yes, clean up as well. The cleanup can take days in spite of the usual folks pitching in and helping with the initial task.
Of late, the family histrionics (hubby's family, not mine, for once..) has become increasingly annoying, to the point where there will certainly be a temper tantrum, possibly a storming out of the house, followed by an extended radio silence from the person who chooses this tack on a regular basis. Bottom line, this person is miserable, chooses to make no changes (from fear, stubbornness...), and continues to be the dark hole into which festive (and all, actually) energy is sucked at every gathering.
So, you can see why the prospect of avoiding this whole thing is appealing, yes?
Alas, a peaceful holiday is not to be.
Hubby's mom sent an invite text, instructing us to make mashed potatoes and cranberry relish, and informing us that dinner would begin around 4:30. Is that late, to you? To us, always, the dinner has been on the table no later than 1...and goes on for hours and hours. There's the first pass, where everyone fills up, then the lingering at the table chatting, then the picking and nibbling, then the cleanup, then dessert, then maybe second meal..a few hours later, with sandwiches made of turkey and rolls and maybe some cranberry relish....
But not this year. This year we're picking up Grandma Gin, heading up to MIL's, having dinner, then heading out...most likely in under 1.5 hrs. And I'm guessing tension will run high from the moment we arrive until we drive off into the night. MIL will be afraid someone will say something to upset the cranky one. Hubby will try to resist, but fail to subdue the urge to ask a direct question about something that will set off the sensitive person and chill the air from that point on. I will try to make light and positive conversation, engage others at the table who are truly lovely and with whom it is a joy to spend time, but my efforts will be clouded by the barometric pressure of general angst that tends to characterize gatherings where said cranky person is in attendance.
While this shorter timeline may help avoid some of the aforesaid dramatic scenarios, it's rushed and strange and makes me want to just go ahead and book something away for next year.
Today.
Historically we have hosted. For 25 or so years we've opted to roast the big bird, set the scene for the celebration, and, yes, clean up as well. The cleanup can take days in spite of the usual folks pitching in and helping with the initial task.
Of late, the family histrionics (hubby's family, not mine, for once..) has become increasingly annoying, to the point where there will certainly be a temper tantrum, possibly a storming out of the house, followed by an extended radio silence from the person who chooses this tack on a regular basis. Bottom line, this person is miserable, chooses to make no changes (from fear, stubbornness...), and continues to be the dark hole into which festive (and all, actually) energy is sucked at every gathering.
So, you can see why the prospect of avoiding this whole thing is appealing, yes?
Alas, a peaceful holiday is not to be.
Hubby's mom sent an invite text, instructing us to make mashed potatoes and cranberry relish, and informing us that dinner would begin around 4:30. Is that late, to you? To us, always, the dinner has been on the table no later than 1...and goes on for hours and hours. There's the first pass, where everyone fills up, then the lingering at the table chatting, then the picking and nibbling, then the cleanup, then dessert, then maybe second meal..a few hours later, with sandwiches made of turkey and rolls and maybe some cranberry relish....
But not this year. This year we're picking up Grandma Gin, heading up to MIL's, having dinner, then heading out...most likely in under 1.5 hrs. And I'm guessing tension will run high from the moment we arrive until we drive off into the night. MIL will be afraid someone will say something to upset the cranky one. Hubby will try to resist, but fail to subdue the urge to ask a direct question about something that will set off the sensitive person and chill the air from that point on. I will try to make light and positive conversation, engage others at the table who are truly lovely and with whom it is a joy to spend time, but my efforts will be clouded by the barometric pressure of general angst that tends to characterize gatherings where said cranky person is in attendance.
While this shorter timeline may help avoid some of the aforesaid dramatic scenarios, it's rushed and strange and makes me want to just go ahead and book something away for next year.
Today.
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