You don't really need to answer the What is wrong with me question, as it was sort of rhetorical.
Anyway, this was a big anniversary for GG and me, but it was definitely impacted by the reality that our baby girl was having surgery the next week. We had a quiet but lovely celebration, or celebrations, actually, and he outdid himself. Totally.
This was our 25th anniversary. A big one, actually. Really big.
In our time together we have loved deeply, fought heartily, and raised two amazing human beings.
Raising children is interesting because what really happens is as they're growing up, you are too. There are no manuals for raising babies. And every one is different, so even if you think you know what you're doing with your first one, it's all bets are off for the next one.
Seriously, our children couldn't be more different in terms of personality and general approach to life. Yet somehow, in spite of us, they have both grown up to be solid, caring, motivated, intelligent, loving human beings.
When GG and I have fought, it's usually been over something ridiculous. I won't bore you with details here, but know that over time..those petty annoyances that took precedence, lots of energy and caused no end of grief..will seem more like petty annoyances and not show stopping events in your life.
We've had a couple of battles royal, though. Those have been about personal growth, feeling unhappy in our skins, our jobs, our lives, whatever...as tend to happen over the long haul. The key to those, we've found, is to give the other person room to grow or contemplate the cause of their malaise and then support them while they seek a remedy. Deep trust and an understanding that sometimes the best gift we can give someone is a little space to figure shit out go a long long way.
Personal growth never comes at convenient times, either. It generally insists on showing up when life is already very full and stressful. But avoiding growth never works, and usually results in more damage that needs undoing over time.
But I digress.
Though we had discussed our celebration, and how it wouldn't be about the gifts, it would be about sharing a nice dinner, then a weekend away together, GG is a big fat liar.
First, during dessert after a ridiculously indulgent meal at Vernon's Speakeasy and Steakhouse, he presented me with a ring. That sparkles a lot, and that contains elements that I've commented about during the years. I love baguette settings...and the ring has those along both sides of the three pretty diamonds in the center. And as a friend of mine pointed out, the baguettes seem to hug the three center stones..which is extra symbolic.
Then, the next morning I awoke to find our dining room table set with a new set of gorgeous stoneware that GG had commissioned a ceramicist friend of ours to create for us. The color is a beautiful sagey green, and the set is absolutely lovely. We use it a lot, and intend for it to be part of our daily lives, unlike our wedding china, which is now hopelessly outdated unless you're really into mauve lilies on a grey border on plates. Mikasa rocks, but go for trendy and at some point the china will be obviously dated.
So he lied, and it made me cry. Twice. Not because he didn't tell the truth, but because what he chose to gift was incredibly thoughtful, and very much on the mark. I love my ring, even though I never thought I was a bling girl. It turns out I am. Really, I'll catch a glimpse of it from time to time as the light catches it and I always think, 'Wow! That is such a pretty ring! And it's on my hand!' And the dishes? We're all about food. We create it, we share it, we enjoy it. Having a set of stoneware, made by a good friend? Absolutely lovely.
After GG lied twice, we spent the weekend away, which we had planned to do. We went to Ojo Caliente..a famous hot springs in Northern New Mexico. We soaked, we got massages, we relaxed.
25. Lovely, poignant, all that it should be.
Anyway, this was a big anniversary for GG and me, but it was definitely impacted by the reality that our baby girl was having surgery the next week. We had a quiet but lovely celebration, or celebrations, actually, and he outdid himself. Totally.
This was our 25th anniversary. A big one, actually. Really big.
In our time together we have loved deeply, fought heartily, and raised two amazing human beings.
Raising children is interesting because what really happens is as they're growing up, you are too. There are no manuals for raising babies. And every one is different, so even if you think you know what you're doing with your first one, it's all bets are off for the next one.
Seriously, our children couldn't be more different in terms of personality and general approach to life. Yet somehow, in spite of us, they have both grown up to be solid, caring, motivated, intelligent, loving human beings.
When GG and I have fought, it's usually been over something ridiculous. I won't bore you with details here, but know that over time..those petty annoyances that took precedence, lots of energy and caused no end of grief..will seem more like petty annoyances and not show stopping events in your life.
We've had a couple of battles royal, though. Those have been about personal growth, feeling unhappy in our skins, our jobs, our lives, whatever...as tend to happen over the long haul. The key to those, we've found, is to give the other person room to grow or contemplate the cause of their malaise and then support them while they seek a remedy. Deep trust and an understanding that sometimes the best gift we can give someone is a little space to figure shit out go a long long way.
Personal growth never comes at convenient times, either. It generally insists on showing up when life is already very full and stressful. But avoiding growth never works, and usually results in more damage that needs undoing over time.
But I digress.
Though we had discussed our celebration, and how it wouldn't be about the gifts, it would be about sharing a nice dinner, then a weekend away together, GG is a big fat liar.
First, during dessert after a ridiculously indulgent meal at Vernon's Speakeasy and Steakhouse, he presented me with a ring. That sparkles a lot, and that contains elements that I've commented about during the years. I love baguette settings...and the ring has those along both sides of the three pretty diamonds in the center. And as a friend of mine pointed out, the baguettes seem to hug the three center stones..which is extra symbolic.
Then, the next morning I awoke to find our dining room table set with a new set of gorgeous stoneware that GG had commissioned a ceramicist friend of ours to create for us. The color is a beautiful sagey green, and the set is absolutely lovely. We use it a lot, and intend for it to be part of our daily lives, unlike our wedding china, which is now hopelessly outdated unless you're really into mauve lilies on a grey border on plates. Mikasa rocks, but go for trendy and at some point the china will be obviously dated.
So he lied, and it made me cry. Twice. Not because he didn't tell the truth, but because what he chose to gift was incredibly thoughtful, and very much on the mark. I love my ring, even though I never thought I was a bling girl. It turns out I am. Really, I'll catch a glimpse of it from time to time as the light catches it and I always think, 'Wow! That is such a pretty ring! And it's on my hand!' And the dishes? We're all about food. We create it, we share it, we enjoy it. Having a set of stoneware, made by a good friend? Absolutely lovely.
After GG lied twice, we spent the weekend away, which we had planned to do. We went to Ojo Caliente..a famous hot springs in Northern New Mexico. We soaked, we got massages, we relaxed.
25. Lovely, poignant, all that it should be.
Comments
Post a Comment