I miss you guys. I miss regular posts and I miss keeping you abreast of my life and I miss..just having enough time to breathe and contemplate topics to share and generally just...be...at all.
Right now..things are as we might expect given all the factors in play.
School rocks. I love it. Every single day I sit in class and listen, and I read and read and read and talk with my fellow students I realize how very right this path is for me to take. It's hard to overemphasize how wonderful I think this is.
Work? Well, let's just say someone has injected our normally frenetic pace with some kind of an alien steroid, which is causing extreme pressure for all, and is making me take deep breaths and yearn for a modicum of perspective, which, of late, I've lost more often than I care to admit. I know, I should be able to control the forces at work, or more importantly, manage my perspective on it all.
But I haven't. And it maddens me. So I'm working on it. Seriously.
This long weekend has been about NOT exploding from stress. About deciphering the stress that awakened and disturbed me Friday night to the point where I was making deals with the universe to lighten the fuck up just for a moment..so I could enumerate the reasons I feel blessed, I could envision the calm, golden light of love that I welcome and beckon when I'm intensely pressured.. Finally, it came. And it washed away the tightness and it filled me with a resolve that I've sought, and it allowed me to fall back asleep.
But when I awoke Saturday, I was pissed. I was determined to find a better way to deal with the madness, because that peaking out, that inability to breathe and focus on anything important, like my daughter who is here for just a few days before she returns to RI for the summer...THAT shit needs to leave me alone to be present, and to enjoy the few hours that exist between the endless work pressure and school expectations...
I've created this mad vortex, so it makes sense that I will learn to manage and master the madness, yes?
There was yoga. There were runs. There was some wine. At one point, there was a Dirty Goose. And it was delicious. But the best approach? Yoga.
Weird how the simple act of assuming restful, opening positions can shift one's perspective. Hip openers, guided meditation, mindfulness reminders...all made huge a difference.
As did a long Skype session with Son, who is baking at 115 degrees and 80 percent humidity in the Middle East...and negotiating his contract for the next academic year. He said, 'Mama, this is just an exercise in balance. You can handle a whole lot more than this combo of startup company and school presents. Give yourself a little credit here....'
Love that kid.
Anyway, things will be fine.
But I miss you guys. I'll try to be more in touch, but honestly? Some weeks I'm glad to escape with my ass attached.
And I'm not being dramatic here, that's a simple fact.
Right now..things are as we might expect given all the factors in play.
School rocks. I love it. Every single day I sit in class and listen, and I read and read and read and talk with my fellow students I realize how very right this path is for me to take. It's hard to overemphasize how wonderful I think this is.
Work? Well, let's just say someone has injected our normally frenetic pace with some kind of an alien steroid, which is causing extreme pressure for all, and is making me take deep breaths and yearn for a modicum of perspective, which, of late, I've lost more often than I care to admit. I know, I should be able to control the forces at work, or more importantly, manage my perspective on it all.
But I haven't. And it maddens me. So I'm working on it. Seriously.
This long weekend has been about NOT exploding from stress. About deciphering the stress that awakened and disturbed me Friday night to the point where I was making deals with the universe to lighten the fuck up just for a moment..so I could enumerate the reasons I feel blessed, I could envision the calm, golden light of love that I welcome and beckon when I'm intensely pressured.. Finally, it came. And it washed away the tightness and it filled me with a resolve that I've sought, and it allowed me to fall back asleep.
But when I awoke Saturday, I was pissed. I was determined to find a better way to deal with the madness, because that peaking out, that inability to breathe and focus on anything important, like my daughter who is here for just a few days before she returns to RI for the summer...THAT shit needs to leave me alone to be present, and to enjoy the few hours that exist between the endless work pressure and school expectations...
I've created this mad vortex, so it makes sense that I will learn to manage and master the madness, yes?
There was yoga. There were runs. There was some wine. At one point, there was a Dirty Goose. And it was delicious. But the best approach? Yoga.
Weird how the simple act of assuming restful, opening positions can shift one's perspective. Hip openers, guided meditation, mindfulness reminders...all made huge a difference.
As did a long Skype session with Son, who is baking at 115 degrees and 80 percent humidity in the Middle East...and negotiating his contract for the next academic year. He said, 'Mama, this is just an exercise in balance. You can handle a whole lot more than this combo of startup company and school presents. Give yourself a little credit here....'
Love that kid.
Anyway, things will be fine.
But I miss you guys. I'll try to be more in touch, but honestly? Some weeks I'm glad to escape with my ass attached.
And I'm not being dramatic here, that's a simple fact.
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