I met a complete freak of a little man. And I feel much better about myself. Which may mean I'm just mean. Or shallow. Or maybe both.
So this freaky little man is one I've mentioned while synopsizing my monthly lunches with Grandma and her retirement home cronies. He's the activities director who used to be a teacher many moons back. And who also used to be married but that ended badly, and after today's conversation, clearly I'm on the side of the ex because wowza.
Anyway, this little man is likable enough, energetic, positive, and possesses many characteristics that are important while directing the activity efforts for a retirement home. Retirees, after all, are famous for their opinions about everything, and tend to get cranky when they don't get their way. I mean, if you've made it past your 85th birthday, you can get a little cranky if you thought you were going to the theater with your friends and you end up at the mall, right? I do, for heaven's sake....and I can't claim to have celebrated past my 50th yet...
He's also, as it turns out, a wee bit neurotic. (He wears a pedometer that he bought when his cholesterol levels were high and he decided to exercise like a maniac every single day which he does compulsively and annoyingly, per Grandma.) And he's kind of obsessive about collecting...Native American jewelry ('I have three dozen silver bracelets! I only wear two dozen of them, though, because the others are made of that really fine inlay work and I'd hate to lose a stone. And that one squash blossom necklace has over a pound of silver in it! That's a lot to carry around!')
And he lives in a one room apartment that is jammed with his collection of pottery, rugs, and jewelry.
The kicker for me, though, was his final statement, delivered with a bit of a maniacal smile, 'I want to be buried with all of my necklaces and bracelets on, and all of my pottery in my coffin. I want future generations to find me and go, 'Hey, look, we found the Queen of Sheeba!' '
Ok, and I think he just confirmed the gay rumor, too.
Anyway, this little man is likable enough, energetic, positive, and possesses many characteristics that are important while directing the activity efforts for a retirement home. Retirees, after all, are famous for their opinions about everything, and tend to get cranky when they don't get their way. I mean, if you've made it past your 85th birthday, you can get a little cranky if you thought you were going to the theater with your friends and you end up at the mall, right? I do, for heaven's sake....and I can't claim to have celebrated past my 50th yet...
He's also, as it turns out, a wee bit neurotic. (He wears a pedometer that he bought when his cholesterol levels were high and he decided to exercise like a maniac every single day which he does compulsively and annoyingly, per Grandma.) And he's kind of obsessive about collecting...Native American jewelry ('I have three dozen silver bracelets! I only wear two dozen of them, though, because the others are made of that really fine inlay work and I'd hate to lose a stone. And that one squash blossom necklace has over a pound of silver in it! That's a lot to carry around!')
And he lives in a one room apartment that is jammed with his collection of pottery, rugs, and jewelry.
The kicker for me, though, was his final statement, delivered with a bit of a maniacal smile, 'I want to be buried with all of my necklaces and bracelets on, and all of my pottery in my coffin. I want future generations to find me and go, 'Hey, look, we found the Queen of Sheeba!' '
Ok, and I think he just confirmed the gay rumor, too.
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