Desert Magnolia

If you've never been to Taos, you should find a way to go. It's unique in about a million ways, and never disappoints. Case in point, our recent stay. In an historic mansion. With close family and friends.  Said mansion was built in the late 1700's. Yes, 1700's. Of adobe. Thick walls of it that subdue sound and make everyone feel like they are alone in their space, when in fact they are surrounded by others. It's very cool. The house meanders, the older sections have lower ceilings. The newer sections have radiant heat, so your feet are always toasty and you feel comfy warm without the pesky central air blowing noise that most modern houses have. The kitchen, well, it's a chef's wet dream. Really. Viking rules the double ovens and cooktops. Butcher block island in the center provides ample prep space. Multiple sinks make keeping the whole space clean while large meals are prepared easy.  The bedrooms are all cozy, and private. So if one needs some personal t...

The English language continues to morph over time. Cultural attitudes, technology, political events - they all play into a constantly evolving lexicon from which we draw. One of my big concerns revolves around the truncation of words and the deliberate absence of punctuation in texts, a phenom that I've also seen leaking into personal emails..and that makes me shiver. Using appropriate style for different venues makes sense, I just wonder where the line will be drawn, if it will be drawn at all or if our more formal missives will eventually resemble stream of consciousness flows of words sans commas and parens and periods and such. Will it all become like a bad homage to e e cummings with the added twist of no instructions for how to weight or pace, and therefore truly understand written thoughts? Will we end up masters of poetic interpretation in spite of our notable avoidance of iambic pentameter or haiku structure? I am a language lover, and spent far too many hours studying...

The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love. Henry Miller On this day dedicated to the celebration of love, I find myself pondering the meaning of that ethereal, sometimes surreal phenomenon that sustains and enriches and forces us to delve deeper into ourselves than we'd ever thought possible. What is love, exactly? It is what allows us to connect, to resonate with another, to find respite from the universe's seemingly endless onslaught. It is what makes us want to be better, to be stronger, more present, more available for another. It is what grows within us and blossoms when we least expect it, what evolves from fresh green sprout-like origins and matures into strong, supple, deep-rooted vines. The aging like fine wine analogy works well here, too. The people I love, and who love me, make me believe in the absolute connection that exists between all of us and everything in our universe. Love engenders hope, ...

My oh my what a week it's turned out to be! First there was the not holiday, Memorial Day, which felt more like a prelude to a complicated dance. Then there was Daughter's wisdom teeth. Then there was the negative reaction to Vicodin, which involved a blackout in the kitchen. Then there was the new pain med prescription that we decided would be good to have on hand but not use as long as the ibuprofen was doing enough..which, so far, it has. Then there was a quiz today, which, thankfully, I managed to do fine on. Go figure. (Ok, three serious hours of focused study last night while my girl was snoozing in the recliner might have helped.) Then there was work, or IS work, since I'm still here but actually contemplating heading out before clinic to check on the girl one more time, though the last time I checked on her she was having a very nice time being entertained by her cousins and my motherinlaw..... I tweaked out yesterday. Fortunately the loving kindness ...

Or the lack thereof, actually. Case in point? Facebook. As the Marketing Director for a high tech firm, my boss made me create a Facebook account for myself years ago. Which I did, because I get it. And then business pages became the norm, so we created pages for all of our brands, which is fine. And part of marketing in the modern era. I get that too. But this isn't about promoting your business in places your audience is likely to see you, this is about the personal stuff. This is about endless posts supporting or bashing a political party. Yes, I'm a Democrat. I also support Planned Parenthood - actively and loudly for being the incredibly supportive organization that they are. I don't believe guns are good for most people to own, and I believe our health care system was in crisis long before Obamacare. It's taken a long series of stupendously bad decisions to create the pickle barrel we're all in at the moment. (Which may explain my pursuit of a health ...

Have you ever had a getaway that, the more you looked back on it, the better it became? The ones that fall into that category are rare and precious and buoy the spirit for years to come, I've found. Our big birthday trip to Seattle falls into that category. Every time I share memories with someone, I realize just how amazing it all was. It felt..fast, but we relaxed. It felt comprehensive in many ways, but we took our time. It felt langorous, yet we did and saw a lot. Magic, yes? I think so. Mostly I think these magical moments are about the people involved, and how they flow together and enjoy time and generally just relax into each others' company and simply enjoy whatever happens. In this case, JL knew when we wanted to head out and explore, and when relaxing and just 'being' were the ticket. And as a tour guide, well...she cares about and sees life very similarly to us, so naturally the stuff she showed us, we totally enjoyed. Apparently we all roll the s...

This has been a month chock full of mind-numbing events. First there was the whole turning 50 thing, which, in retrospect, wasn't that big of a deal at all. And we're still celebrating, really...with our Seattle trip this coming weekend. Woot! And I've taken down all of the 'you know you're old when...' posters that my husband thought were hil.arious....and the black balloons are (finally) deflating..sheesh. Then there has been school stuff. Which is over as of today for about two weeks. Finals week..that's what this has been. And what a week it's been. OMG. I actually felt brains leaking out of my ears on Sunday night...and then again last night...and now I have a weird feeling of lightness and a little like I've been on a gnarly roller coaster ride with one too many big loops. But now it's time to look forward. To Seattle. To downtime. To celebrating with hubby and JL and just 'being'...in the glory that is the Pacific Northwest ...

In less than two months I'm turning 50. The big five-oh. Half a century. And just a few weeks after that, so is GG. We've tossed around a lot of ideas for how best to celebrate this rather momentous event. We knew we wanted to get away for a few days. We knew we didn't really want to do the whole party thing. Black balloons, bad cards and terrible jokes about impending death are fun, but we wanted to keep it a little personal this time. First we thought we'd go South, maybe back to Cancun for a few days of R&R, Paamul style. Then we thought we'd head up to Pagosa Springs to enjoy a weekend soaking in hot, steamy pools in the mountain air. But over the weeks we both knew we hadn't yet hit on exactly what we wanted to do. But then we both came to the same conclusion at exactly the same moment - Seattle! Why Seattle? I want to share this event, as it turns out, and my dear friend JL just happens to live there. :-)  When this song came out, the ye...

For the Mexico trip? I decided to buy a new suit. Ahem. It's red. And it's a bikini. And it's stringy. I am...fairly fit, but made curvy. I am confident and most days it takes a lot to make me blush. The path to this suit is one I thought you might appreciate, since my very good friend, confidant and fashion adviser JL is part of it. A paraphrased conversation between JL and me, earlier this week: Me: What is your position on the whole women of a certain age wearing bikinis? JL: I wish we had a more European view of things and just did what's appropriate for an occasion instead of getting caught up in the whole age thing. Me: I agree. I'm thinking of getting a string bikini for this Mexico trip, and I think I just needed to hear that it's really ok..to do whatever I'm comfortable doing..but not do something because someone says when you reach a certain age you stop wearing bikinis, you know? JL: Yep. I think you should do what feels right, the...

Hot hot hot, that's what July has been so far. Fortunately our monsoons are beginning, which means some days we're fortunate enough to feel raindrops fall from the sky, wash the dust from the air and cool us down a bit. Some days, though,  those monsoons get a little carried away and stuff starts to wash away... One time when I was a little girl, maybe 10 or so, I saw a VW Bug floating down an arroyo...just bobbing along. Apparently they'd tried to cross running water that was deceptively shallow looking in a dip in the road, but in which the water was surging with enormous force and speed.... Everything turned out ok. Nobody was hurt, but that was a strange sight and represents the kind of weirdness that happens when heavy rains fall in a desert like ours. Anyway, it's hot. This summer has been a blur of activity, mostly good, but some not so good. A litany follows.... -Daughter came home to visit  (as I've already mentioned in an earlier post but stil...

Hair. Long, short, in between, highlighted, dark, shot with gray. No matter what stage it's in, or its current tone, it can make me very very happy or make me want to stab myself in the eyeball with a dull instrument. Maybe a butter knife. The 'logic' goes something like this, on a bad day: Hair, being its strong-willed self, decides to be both big AND in my face, which is a bad combo even on a good day, let alone one when the demigods of hormones have been partying in my bloodstream and emotions for a few hours...and I'm feeling crabby and fragile and mostly like no matter what damned stage my stupid 'do is in, I just want it to comply. On some level. Which guarantees absolute chaos. And makes me text Erika the Fierce and Wonderful stylist who is not afraid of either my hair's nor my moods, which means she is a keeper in the most fundamental sense of the word. Erika knows to ignore said text, which flew at 6 p.m. after a long, hot day fighting with...

Last weekend was full, ok maybe overfull, of events. To the point where I wondered where in the heck the whole thing had gone..somewhere around 1030 on Sunday night. It went something like... Early Saturday morning yoga session.  Breakfast. Saturday morning walk/jog. Shower. Golden Anniversary party for our neighbors at El Pinto, a local Mexican restaurant that served up the absolute largest bowl of guacamole we'd ever seen. Mmmm. And the event? Lovely. As my hubby and I approach 25 years of wedded bliss with a sense of purpose and happiness, these two absolutely shone in their Golden glory. Really they did. They've been through hell and back, those two. But here they are, still standing, and in fact, dancing and smiling and embracing and looking into each other's eyes with that 'You are my person, always have been, always will be' look that inspires. Me hustling off to the store for a couple of Father's Day needs, then back home to focus on some dome...

In Chinese Medicine,  females are considered to age in 7 year cycles. So at 7,1, their teeth are in, their hair is thick, they're beginning school. At 7,2, they begin to express reproductive capabilities, menstruation starts, and so on. I am on the brink of 7,7. I love it, because it's a square. I kind of hate it because it's so very much closer to the big 5-0 that I'm practically there , and that distresses me just a bit. Things that happen at 7,7 if you're Chinese: Your hair begins to gray. Your menstrual cycles may begin to falter, then cease entirely. Your skin begins to appear older. You, essentially, begin to show signs of age. So the hair part? Yep. I'm beginning to be shot with silver in my nearly black locks. But weirdly enough it's not bothering me enough to color it anymore. So I'm either maturing, very comfortable with who and where I am, or I'm fucking busy and just don't want to deal with it. I'm really not sur...

One of GG's friends is a musician, in fact he teaches it, and he's good. He plays the piano, often with a couple of other band people and they make nice jazzy music. Tonight he's playing at Mykonos, our favorite neighborhood Greek restaurant. Their food is traditional and delicious. Their bar is full service, so if you're in the mood for a glass of wine or a killer martini, you're set. I'm not sure what I'm in the mood for yet. But I'll know when I sit down. We're meeting friends. A couple we've known for 26 years, and in fact who attended our wedding and whose wedding we attended and with whom we've raised our 4 children (collectively) and who feel much more like family than many family members to us. They're awesome. And a former colleague of GG's, who is funny and cool, and who lived in the Middle East with her ex, and with whom we share fun stories and who really convinced us to spend next Christmas at her timeshare in Mexic...

My friend and colleague MT is amazing. She's going through another special hell right now with yet another surgery on a leg that has been through, well, hell, already. And then some. See she was cruising along just fine with her new knee (did I mention she's already had a knee replacement in this leg???) when she opted to walk down some carpeted stairs, and then things just got complicated. And she ended up jacking up* her ankle to the point where it needs to be rebuilt. *technical term used when there are lots of gory details but really, why go there when our active imaginations are already fully engaged... Today was her surgery. I haven't heard yet how things went, but really, she could use some warm thoughts. And this weekend we'll be delivering some yummies to help her get through. Thanks guys! [Update on MT: I saw her yesterday, and she's on the mend! She's surrounded by her sweet pack of dogs, a cat named Jack, and a good supply of pain meds....

We've collected, or they've collected us, a group of really cool friends through the years. They run the gamut, these friends, and span every conceivable profession with the exception of psychiatry, though one of our friends has gone back to school and will be a practicing psychologist specializing in grief management once she gets through. Our friends are diverse, professionally as well as culturally, which makes for good conversation and spirited debates from time to time, as one might imagine. Two of these friends have been cohabbing for over a decade. A DECADE. He was married before, and apparently suffered so much emotional trauma during the breakup he vowed never to repeat that ever again.  She was also married before, under difficult circumstances, and divorced. She tried to save someone who wasn't ready to be saved, so when she left she was empty and sad. So when they got together and the sparks ignited and then they pursued their relationship and then they move...

Our resident gardening god, formerly known to you all as 'hubby', has requested that I refer to him in a more complimentary way, as the term 'hubby' to him implies fat and bald and cranky and mostly boring. Which he's none of. Obviously he doesn't read my blog or he would have lodged his complaint much much earlier in the game. Like two years ago in the game. Ahem. So let it be known that the man formerly known as 'hubby' will now be known as the gardening god, or GG. So when you see that, you're hearing about my spouse and our local gardening god. Now that we've gotten that little bit of business handled, we can move on. And may I just say, no offense was ever intended as the term 'hubby' was always used in the most respectful of ways, so let's just be sure that's on the record. Anyway, enough of that. JL, as I mentioned, is in town and she came over for dinner last night. And we did all of the things I'd pred...

..and marathon croquet match. That's how my offspring spent their Saturday evening. Wearing ridiculously glamorous clothes (hers were white, with a lovely hat to match; his were ridiculously film noir ala Woody Allen glam), sipping ridiculously glamorous beverages and rubbing elbows with impossibly glamorous others. They spent the day shopping vintage stores in Manhattan, found very cool outfits, then took a train north to the pahty. They had a ball. They looked...amazing. The Western sibs that took New Yahk by storm? In the West, we (empty) nested. And spent time with old friends. The friends we knew before we were a married couple. The friends whose wedding we attended, and the first we invited to ours. The friends who were there when I came down with what we thought was bronchitis, but turned out to be early mommyitis. Special friends. Old friends. Good friends. The kind that have known us forever, and we them, and we're closer than ever. Which is saying something ...

At least a couple times a week I get emails from friends and family (though not my offspring or spouse, who get it..) praising me as part of their life, and encouraging me to forward to others I feel the same about. Now I totally get the positive intent of these missives. I do. But honestly? I never return them to the sender, and I never pass them on to 5, 6, 8 or 12 (whatever the required number du jour may be) others to enjoy and pass along. I just don't. And it's not because I don't value the sender, or wish to either reap the benefits on the 4th day following my compliance of the instructions of the email, or to avoid the wrath of the universe should I fail to do so. I'm just of the mind that if you send something to someone, if it's not a link to an absolutely hilarious video of a baby dancing or a kitten riding a goat, don't make them do anything besides read what you've sent. I'm all about a good laugh, and the viral effect of sharing ...

Emotional fitness, humility and a grace-filled mind will take you where you need to go. Let go of the judgments. Let go of the expectations and just show up fully with whatever you are feeling today. But do not turn back. Stay in the fire. You are not being burned – you are being purified.   (Mastin Kipp -- http://thedailylove.com/) Because she sends me stuff like this. And knows it speaks to me, and somehow exactly when a musing of this nature will resonate. Thanks, J.