The emotions, to say they're wildly fluctuating would be an exaggeration, but they are certainly not balanced and I am so not centered and I'm finding it really hard to maintain my train of thought and I'm now even more worried about my son moving to Abu Dhabi now that they're further limiting Blackberry communications, and my daughter has a stomach bug.
But other than that, everything's cool in my world.
Son heads to Abu Dhabi this Saturday, early evening my time.
Daughter heads to Providence, RI, this Saturday, before lunch.
Hubby just informed me we're committed to a dinner at his department head's house Saturday night for a 'casual evening with the new headmaster and his wife.'
Are you kidding me? WTF?
Of all the things I want to be doing Saturday night, I'm pretty sure schmoozing with the new guy (hub's boss for hell sake) is NOT on the list.
My list looks more like this:
Take a nap after first wave of absolute searingly mind blowing grief (and its resultant tears) have passed.
Maybe go get my toes done some silly color with a silly flower on my big toes like my daughter likes to get.
Have some tea and a cookie or a light sweet dessert.
Sit on the patio and listen to the birds, swinging and allowing the new reality to wash over me.
Hang out with Hubby and say nothing, but just 'be' for as long as it takes to gentle a bit.
Sip on a nice (really nice) glass of wine and reflect on how absolutely blessed I am, and bask in the fact that both of my progeny are on the way to live their dreams. That they are both independent, strong, courageous human beings for whom I have the deepest respect layered over that impossibly thick Mama love layer.
That is what I am envisioning. Not a schmooze fest.
And that's pretty much all I have to say about that.
But other than that, everything's cool in my world.
Son heads to Abu Dhabi this Saturday, early evening my time.
Daughter heads to Providence, RI, this Saturday, before lunch.
Hubby just informed me we're committed to a dinner at his department head's house Saturday night for a 'casual evening with the new headmaster and his wife.'
Are you kidding me? WTF?
Of all the things I want to be doing Saturday night, I'm pretty sure schmoozing with the new guy (hub's boss for hell sake) is NOT on the list.
My list looks more like this:
Take a nap after first wave of absolute searingly mind blowing grief (and its resultant tears) have passed.
Maybe go get my toes done some silly color with a silly flower on my big toes like my daughter likes to get.
Have some tea and a cookie or a light sweet dessert.
Sit on the patio and listen to the birds, swinging and allowing the new reality to wash over me.
Hang out with Hubby and say nothing, but just 'be' for as long as it takes to gentle a bit.
Sip on a nice (really nice) glass of wine and reflect on how absolutely blessed I am, and bask in the fact that both of my progeny are on the way to live their dreams. That they are both independent, strong, courageous human beings for whom I have the deepest respect layered over that impossibly thick Mama love layer.
That is what I am envisioning. Not a schmooze fest.
And that's pretty much all I have to say about that.
I totally support the Saturday you want over the Saturday you're committed to. Your version sounds lovely and relaxing. Also, I love love love getting my toes done and having a pretty flower on the big toe. Especially with a rhinestone in the middle.
ReplyDeleteWishing the best of luck and safe travels to your kids! And quick recovery to you. Goodbying family is very hard.
Thanks! There's a part of me that feels super selfish even voicing this sentiment, but honestly, I feel like a mid-sized pachyderm is sitting right on my chest...and know that the simple act of breathing on Saturday..will take much much more effort than ever before.
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