Today the scientific community announced that, and I shit you not, MICE CAN COUGH!!
Immediately my strange little brain went to the mouse meeting following said announcement:
Fellow mice, we've been outed. Our ability to actually fully cough, vs just utter gentle throat clearing sounds, has been discovered by those ridiculously curious humans who will stop at nothing, nothing mind you, to reveal the secrets of our treasured species.
From this day onward, all mice soldiers will be issued lozenges lest they feel the slightest tickle in their throats. You will immediately pop a lozenge and relieve the tickle before you commence with operations. Just let your fellow soldiers know what's up by pointing at your throat then making the universal sign for 'shhhhh'.....
All civilians will also receive prophylactic lozenges, to be taken in any situation where a cough is imminent, and humans are present. Please attend your next neighborhood watch meeting, where ample supplies will be distributed. And be sure to grab enough to give to any of your friends and neighbors who cannot attend, as the entire community is at risk, here, and we must watch out for our fellow mouse.
This is for the safety of all our kind, who have, until this declaration by the human scientific community, remained safe behind random household sounds including humming dryers, heating and air conditioning systems' white noise, blowdryers, dishwashers, TVs, etc.
We are no longer safe, and must take extreme measures to provide for the well being of our community.
All mouse citizens who begin to show symptoms of a virus that might cause coughing should immediately report to your nearest health clinic, where you will be quarantined from humans until you're well. Again, this is for the safety of all our kind.
Thank you all, and God bless.
Immediately my strange little brain went to the mouse meeting following said announcement:
Fellow mice, we've been outed. Our ability to actually fully cough, vs just utter gentle throat clearing sounds, has been discovered by those ridiculously curious humans who will stop at nothing, nothing mind you, to reveal the secrets of our treasured species.
From this day onward, all mice soldiers will be issued lozenges lest they feel the slightest tickle in their throats. You will immediately pop a lozenge and relieve the tickle before you commence with operations. Just let your fellow soldiers know what's up by pointing at your throat then making the universal sign for 'shhhhh'.....
All civilians will also receive prophylactic lozenges, to be taken in any situation where a cough is imminent, and humans are present. Please attend your next neighborhood watch meeting, where ample supplies will be distributed. And be sure to grab enough to give to any of your friends and neighbors who cannot attend, as the entire community is at risk, here, and we must watch out for our fellow mouse.
This is for the safety of all our kind, who have, until this declaration by the human scientific community, remained safe behind random household sounds including humming dryers, heating and air conditioning systems' white noise, blowdryers, dishwashers, TVs, etc.
We are no longer safe, and must take extreme measures to provide for the well being of our community.
All mouse citizens who begin to show symptoms of a virus that might cause coughing should immediately report to your nearest health clinic, where you will be quarantined from humans until you're well. Again, this is for the safety of all our kind.
Thank you all, and God bless.
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