Desert Magnolia

Albert Einstein's definition of insanity - repeating the same action and expecting a completely different outcome - seems to be the theme for the holidays this year. Thanksgiving turned out to be ok - which was good. The energy vamp chose to surf the 'Net after dinner, simply avoiding all contact with us, so that meant the rest of us chatted and enjoyed dessert and relaxed a little. At one point during the evening I looked around at the faces, all familiar, all part of a complex family drama and personal evolution, devolution, growth and aging.  The young ones are growing up, and will be moved away in a few years. The older ones are getting even older, and mark their days by managing chronic pain and choosing how to focus their resources, which are less than they were even a year ago. And every one of us gathers to celebrate each holiday, to reconnect on whatever level works at that moment, and hopes for some significant easing of tension and angst and underlying dysfuncti...

This year, hubby and I contemplated getting away for Thanksgiving. We entertained the thought of staying in Santa Fe, enjoying a lovely meal out, walking around the plaza, and mostly NOT dealing with the family political dynamic that has plagued recent (ok, at least the last 10 if not more) Turkey Day celebrations. The fact that our kids will not be home adds to the feeling of liberation - there is no tradition to uphold if they aren't here, right? In fact, daughter and her boyfriend will be in Italy this year. Italy. Touring, eating the most amazing foods and drinking Italian wine. They're even taking a cooking class in Tuscany while they're there. They'll be having an incredible, romantic time, and doing what you should do - which is enjoying the event. Son is too far away to come home for Thanksgiving, but will be home for Christmas, which warms my mama heart to its very core. He will be celebrating with friends in Abu Dhabi, and will most likely host - he is the ch...

It's midterms again, which means I am either head down studying for the next big exam, or I am thinking about it (and possibly avoiding it by cleaning or practicing some form of denial for a few minutes). As I prepare to go for a much needed jog to clear my head and move my body, I, sitting in my dining room with a 5'x8' window to my left, looked at my phone to see what the weather app had to say about what was going on outside. Really? WTH? Time to get in touch with reality and myself, yes? Hugs, Stevie

A dear family friend, who just recently returned to our state after years away in California, has graciously invited me to stay with her a couple of nights a week in Santa Fe while I finish up school. What does this mean? Less commuting. Which equates to less cumulative fatigue over the course of a week. Which also equates to a more focused, effective me..as a student and general member of society. Last week was our first week trying this new arrangement out, and it seems to be pretty comfortable - for both of us. Her home is lovely, and her neighbors are welcoming and supportive as well. This counts as an unexpected blessing. I am grateful, and I am thankful, and I look forward to doing my very best to finish this program strong and ready for boards, and for life beyond. It really does take a village to support big goals, doesn't it? Stevie

Sometimes Fall sneaks up on you, and then one morning there you are surrounded by golden leaves and you notice a chill in the air. Sometimes Fall skirts the edges of Summer, teasing with its cooler nights and crisper mornings. This is a skirting year. Our days, due to some unexpected high pressure systems, have been unseasonably warm, still in the 90's when they should be dropping into the low 80's by now. Even so, Fall is close. The leaves in the Sandias have begun to turn glorious shades of yellow and gold and red. The morning air really is cooler and cleaner and has a bit of an edge. I noticed last week, when greeting the early morning in Santa Fe on my friend's patio, that it was much cooler in the City Different. Much. I needed a sweatshirt...and the colors, evident on the nearby Sangre De Cristos, are stunning. So, it'll be really cool, for real, pretty soon, we're told. For today, though, it's sunscreen and a hat for the walk/jog. It's goin...

Every day, the trek to Santa Fe. Every day the schlep back home, hopefully with more experience and knowledge in the old cranium. After one full week behind us, I have to say, damn. Saturday was just a recovery day. I hit a wall around 3 p.m. and had to nap. Seriously. I know I will get used to the commute, or at least I tell myself I will. That it will become part of my day, and be no biggie. That I am fortunate to have avoided said commute for as long as I have, since my much younger daughter in the Big Apple commutes 1:10 every morning and evening, by train. So I need to just chill, right? Right. I have to believe the medicine is bigger and better than the politics and egos and nonsense that predicated our campus being 'consolidated' into the Santa Fe campus. I have to believe that the greater lesson here will eclipse the stupidity of trying to meld two completely and totally different philosphies/entities into one very narrow, rigid mold. I have to believe this.....

Another school term done. Final year awaits in another week and half. For now I'm simply taking a breath. Days tend to blend into one another, separated only by increments of sleep... I read. I run. I do my toes. I sew.  I nap. I cook. I deal with domestic stuff. I read some more. I nap some more. I may watch a sinful TV show or so..or binge favorite series I've recorded. But mostly I just breathe. And know that the strength I gather now will sustain me through the final year of my program, one in which I'll be commuting to Santa Fe every day and one which will no doubt hold surprises - both pleasant, and some not so pleasant. Namaste. Stevie