Desert Magnolia

This whole vacation thing is growing on me. Today my big accomplishment (everything is relative), was getting out of my pjs, into yoga pants and a sweatshirt, picking up takeout salads, then coming back home and getting back into my pj bottoms. Seriously. Yes, I worked a little. But in my pjs. And son and I watched the new Spider Man movie, which was a terrible waste of almost 2 hours and we're sad we won't get that time back. And then he and I watched several episodes of Ally McBeal, though we both fell asleep during the 3rd episode so we'll have to rewatch that I guess. My face is washed, my teeth are brushed, and I am violating no personal hygiene rules, but I have to say, this whole hanging out in one's pj's for ALL DAY? Is a wonderful way to go.

It's the morning after. Not of a steamy love connection (unfortunately), but the morning after two weeks of intensity the likes of which I hope not to experience again any time soon. Let me explain. I already talked about finals, and wow, after my 9th round of them (yep, I've done this 9 times now!, only 6 to go....) I'm as used to them as I'm going to get. In other words, they're crazy hard and there's a ton of pressure to do well, as we would expect. Part of the trick, I think, is knowing what's coming...again and again and again....sometimes that can be harder than walking into something blind, don't you think? So there were finals, and now they are done. Because life wasn't already full/intense/stressful enough, a hot water pipe decided to burst under our living room. Which is, of course, on a concrete slab. Which needed to be, yes...jackhammered up. Again. (This happened once before, a mere 6 days before daughter's 18th birthday, ...

This week is the second week of finals, and I have two more to go. Thursday's is my Herbs II final, and I expect it to be a bear. Friday is Public Health and Epidemiology, and I expect it to be full of facts but manageable. The PH and Epi final has one thing over the Herbs II final in that it's all English, or mostly even though public health jargon is replete with acronyms, as one would expect from an area that deals with many government departments. But this Herbs final is going to take some finessing to manage. See we learn herbs with both their Pin Yin name (ie Chen Xiang) and their Latin name (Aquilariae Lignum resinatum). And then we learn about 20 details about each, and then we learn to distinguish between herbs in categories, ie which one is best for which condition but still good for other conditions, and so on. This semester we've learned 121 herbs in 17 categories. So far I've completed the study guide/take home quiz that our prof provided us. I feel ...

My mom has been visiting. As I mentioned before, she hasn't been here for a long time, so things felt awkward, and in many ways I realize I don't know her anymore. Conversations started out a little stilted, and there was a lot of qualifying and backfilling of information and such. There are many gaps in the information continuum, and we had to make sure the stories made sense. During her visit I realized that she is, and always will be, a very gifted artist. She is just one of those people who would rather be engrossed in a complex project (she does amazing reverse applique using silks and wonderful wild fabrics and she has a fabulous eye and creates works of, yes...art...with ease). Living with an artist isn't easy when you're growing up. She loved me deeply, but her compulsion to do her art was that - a compulsion - and if she didn't get enough time, a lot of time, to create, she'd go a little crazy and feel very much like a rat in a maze instead of a ...

A few months back I played with adopting the Mediterranean Diet. In principle, it seemed like a really good choice. I am, after all, half of that region of the world, and felt like maybe I needed to expand my horizons while reducing my animal product intake. Huuuuuuge personal mistake. (I know, Dr. G, but I am what I am.) In the time I opted for chickpeas and legumes as primary protein sources I noticed a need for much more on my plate or in my bowl to satisfy my nutritional needs. I didn't mind that, and just increased what I ate. Lots and lots of veggies, etc., but I was always hedging what felt like a sugar crash, and given my history with that, I didn't like it. I felt bloaty most of the time. I felt less sharp, a little more on edge, and spent what I deemed to be way too much time thinking about my next meal. I had terrible PMS. Terrible. I won't elaborate, but really who wants to worsen that little monthly nugget? Not me... I gained almost 10 pounds, pou...

Is there a rhyme or reason to the actions we take? This question has arisen countless times since humans began to ponder such things. And no matter which theory you subscribe to, no matter how empty or full your consciousness may be at any given point in time, the variables involved in determining true motivation are myriad, and, I believe, impossible to calculate with any scientific precision. After all, motivation can be linked to many things, and if the heart happens to be involved, then all bets are off in terms of applying logic to the scenario. The heart does what the heart does, when it decides to do it, and we generally get to hold on and do our best to navigate the outcome and avoid vertigo, if possible. To all of the big questions, I am beginning to believe, the answer is love. Love is the answer. It takes so many forms it is impossible to quantify. It defies reason, logic and attempts at control. It persists in spite of our attempting to think it through, thank goodness...

The frost is nearly on the pumpkin, and I am wondering where in the hell the last almost eleven months have gone! I mean, there were the holidays - always a blur,  then the New Year - always a bit of a letdown/gotta keep moving with school adventure,  then there was spring, my birthday (a no biggie one this year as it turns out), then there was summer (kind of a non-summer as summers go, highlighted by a quick visit from kids), now there is fall and oh man...it's almost the holidays again. The kittens have grown to full size kitties, and they are super fun and funny. We love them. The garden was awesome, and we're still getting a few tomatoes...though our days are numbered there. The big tree with all the leaves hasn't yet let go, but that's about to happen..probably next week when the temps dive a little below Indian Summer levels. Between now and setting up the tree? Finishing up midterms (yes another set...honestly, they never seem to end!), pushing through the re...